tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-87253165544491735922024-03-13T13:09:47.070-07:00a million tiny thingsKenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-37528347673133133592013-01-25T14:09:00.002-08:002013-01-25T14:09:18.284-08:00Streamlining<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Hey there,</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">The blog has moved (actually, a while back, sorry...)! New address: <a href="http://www.milliontinythings.com/blog/" target="_blank">A Million Tiny Things</a> official website.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Thanks for reading!</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Kenna </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"><br /></span>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-18780284786599862362012-08-10T23:40:00.000-07:002012-08-11T10:45:58.208-07:00Summer Games<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
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{page:Section1;}</style>This summer in London, there are hundreds of strong bodies doing their very best, showing
their vast dedication and hard work to the world, or at least that part of the world
which watches TV.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t live in
that part of the world, by choice, having neither cable nor fast enough internet for
streaming.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>In my little world,
this summer, there is a softening body. There are even fewer posts than usual, indicating a possible lack
of dedication and very little hard work.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I never finished out last school year’s garden blog.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I stopped doing anything at all to
market my <a href="http://www.milliontinythings.com/" target="_blank">book</a>.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Instead, when not
entertaining the children or working, I slept.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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Then I woke up, and started feeling very anxious about the
whole nationwide-record-temperature-drought thing and the ongoing deterioration
of my short term memory, and decided I needed a bit more sleep.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When I woke up again, I wished I were
climbing mountains in West Virginia to stop the crazy coal mining or standing
in a road in Texas trying to stop the southern leg of the Keystone pipeline,
and I felt really shitty because I wasn’t one of those cool and awesome people
doing those things.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>So I decided
that I should buy a plug-in car RIGHT NOW, just to feel like I’ve done
something, anything.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>All those
athletes are doing these superhuman feats in London, and I’m just wandering
around my garden surveying the complete and utter lack of harvest (deer are so pretty, but so evil) and
trying to figure out whether 12 miles of electric range makes it worth trading
in my old Prius for a new one.</div>
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Somewhere in there, I went and recorded a TV interview
(which I will not, due to aforementioned lack of TV, be able to watch), in which I very convincingly argued (I think. As I said, I can't watch it.) that there is no right path or thing we should all be doing to
save the earth; rather, we each need to follow the call of our own path,
descry our own talents, and then simply do our very best.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Afterwards, I am somewhat ashamed to admit, I took a
nap.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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The sleeping shames me, as I do it during the day, late
mornings and even mid-afternoons when, according to my WASP-y work ethic, I am
supposed to Be Productive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’d
been pretending that daytime productivity is possible despite the fact that I work night
shift.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But chronic sleep deprivation
will eventually catch up with you (see: aforementioned short-term memory loss).<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I will probably forever remember (if I
remember it at all) the summer of 2012 as the first Olympics that I entirely
slept through.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfKXCs6sw7sbZ2ME92WS2Qz0UB1fpx8eq49PANCxQ11v7VKBjO-f66zqslz-x7rS_l1DEwN5fdylT_lH7mTWztvU_QyWabRnEJdhl0vefd7RyM4lIp8rWuN5DnHihijiVSd9AmWbj1fEV2/s1600/DSCN1578.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="301" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfKXCs6sw7sbZ2ME92WS2Qz0UB1fpx8eq49PANCxQ11v7VKBjO-f66zqslz-x7rS_l1DEwN5fdylT_lH7mTWztvU_QyWabRnEJdhl0vefd7RyM4lIp8rWuN5DnHihijiVSd9AmWbj1fEV2/s320/DSCN1578.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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I’m dreaming of a comeback, though.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I don’t yet know what my event will be,
in the high-stakes race to do what we need to do to make this planet livable
for our kids.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I did get out of bed
long enough to get to one anti-fracking rally, and I felt that runner’s high of
hope, watching my sons’ proud faces as they yelled out “Stop Fracking
Now!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I’m aware, however, that
this one will be an endurance event, and there will come desperate lows as well.</div>
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For now, my personal best is simply catching up on sleep,
and storing up my energy for the next push.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Listening hard to find what path is calling me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Trying not to feel bad about the things
I’m not doing and glad for the people who are running out there in front
protecting the eco-systems.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>Because although this might be a race, it’s not a competition.</div>
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<br /></div>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-67420486463982332962012-07-05T12:56:00.000-07:002012-07-06T10:12:37.559-07:00Natural History<b>Welcome to the July Mindful Mama Carnival: Mindfulness and Nature</b><br />
<i>This post was written for inclusion in the Mindful Mama Carnival hosted by <a href="http://www.becomingcrunchy.com/" target="_blank">Becoming Crunchy</a> and <a href="http://touchstonez.com/" target="_blank">TouchstoneZ</a>. This month our participants have shared their experiences of mindfulness and the natural world. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.</i><br />
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7:30 am. In the
car, in costume. Living history,
ho! </div>
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I tried to muster up a level of appropriate enthusiasm,
though the night before I hadn’t even thought about my costume. I’d spent the last week helping my son
put his together, wasn’t that enough?
What does a female Russian cowherd living in a fort on the California
coast in 1821 wear, anyway? The
teacher had given us a handout about headscarves and long skirts with no
adornment. As I had stared
at it in a ten pm daze, I regretted waiting until long after the thrift stores
were closed to begin this process.
My closet offered up a rather hilarious collection of items that somehow
added up to an overall Russian peasant effect when I added my son’s old
kindergarten apron over the top.
Threw a sleeping bag into the car, and I was set.</div>
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Upon arrival at the fort, one thing became instantly clear:
there is no rest for the weary. Or
any sitting down. You must remain
in character and make sure your “employees” (read: children) are properly
preparing authentic Russian food for 40 people without any modern conveniences,
unless you count the pottery butter churn as a convenience, which, I suppose,
it was in 1821. Within a few
hours, it was clear to me that the leather boots, which seemed such a great
addition to the costume, were a bad idea, and my feet were just going to hurt
like heck until our return to the 21<sup>st</sup> century. </div>
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In the afternoon, someone needed to hike back to the cars to
get an emergency form for a girl who was sick and needed to call her
parents. I volunteered.</div>
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“Where are you going?” some of the short endentured workers
asked.</div>
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“Oh, I’m a cowherd, I need to move the cows from their
pasture to the barn for milking.” </div>
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I felt like an escapee, slipping out the big fort doors,
temporarily removed from the unrelenting work of trying to keep the kids
focused on the cooking. I strode
along the coastal path, head ducked against the high ocean wind. Thinking about the woman I’m pretending
to be, her life 200 years ago, and whether she walked this same path with her
cows. The chill air pushing
through my clothes made me aware of her in a way I hadn’t been before; her
woman’s body had felt these same winds, this same cold. And she wouldn’t have ever been back in
a warm car in another 24 hours, resting her feet. So we walked together, as I started to understand how
intense, immediate and taken for granted was her relationship with the natural
world. </div>
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I love camping, I like to be outside, I even enjoy getting
cold, wet, and exposing myself to the harshness of the elements at times. But there is a moment-to-moment
choosing in my doing so, a decision to temporarily push myself, that makes
these exposures seem like daring fun, not burdensome chores. Not the cows must get in before
dark, never mind that it’s raining and freezing, you simply get it done. Not the direct and necessary reliance
on nature to provide what is needed which humans, for most of history, have
experienced.</div>
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Once I had retrieved the paper I needed, the cowherd’s ghost
and I decided to walk back by a different route, looping through a stand of
redwoods and over a hill. God, my
feet hurt! And I could only
imagine how hers must have felt every day, with boots probably made of coarser
leather than my own, not to mention that she probably didn’t have any custom
orthotic arch inserts for hers.
Down through the shadowy woods we went, aching feet and all, and then up
towards the fort, breaking out of the trees into… a miracle. A small, everyday miracle: trees block
wind. Paraskovia and I were
suddenly on a field of sun-warmed grasses, perfect for the cows to graze, and
just walking across it was a rest.
I didn’t stop—I was needed back at the fort, but my shoulders sank back
into warmth and my sore, sore, feet relented just a bit. A patch of hillside where the wind
doesn’t reach you, and you can finally feel the sun. Rest for the weary.
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The immense relief of the break from the wind made me
understand that for all the time I spend extolling the virtues of nature and
“enjoying” it, I am almost entirely protected from it. For me, it wasn’t the carefully chosen
historic foods, the Russian words, the cannon or costumes that gave me a real
sense of lived history, it was the wind, and the cold, and that tiny moment of
warmth. For in that moment, a rush
of gratitude so deep and real came over me, and I felt a closer connection to
the natural world than all my experience of breathtaking views, introspective
hikes, and caretaking my plot of earth has ever given me. I paused, took a breath, said a silent
“thank you,” and kept walking.<br />
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***<br />
<br />
<a href="http://touchstonez.com/currentprojects/mindful-mama-carnival-home-page/" target="_blank" title="Mindful Mama Carnival"><img align="right" alt="Mindful Mama Carnival -- Becoming Crunchy and TouchstoneZ" border="0" class="alignright" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6088/6104475337_2081e669dd_m.jpg" /></a> Visit <a href="http://touchstonez.com/currentprojects/mindful-mama-carnival-home-page/" target="_blank"><b>The Mindful Mama Homepage</b></a> to find out how you can participate in the next Mindful Mama Carnival!<br />
On Carnival day, please follow along on Twitter using the handy <b>#MindMaCar</b> hashtag. You can also subscribe to the <a href="https://twitter.com/#%21/TouchstoneZ/mindmacar">Mindful Mama Twitter List</a> and <a href="http://www.google.ca/reader/view/?hl=en&tab=wy#stream/user%2F08929773466428579444%2Flabel%2FMindfulMamaCarnival">Mindful Mama Participant Feed</a>. <br />Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:<br />
<ul>
<li><b><a href="http://monkeybuttjunction.com/?p=2098" target="_blank">Zen and the Art of Raising Chickens</a></b> Jenn at <b>Monkey Butt Junction</b> has found a connection to nature in her very own backyard, thanks to her chickens.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.hybridrastamama.com/2012/07/healing-gemstones-and-crystals-for.html" target="_blank">Healing Gemstones and Crystals for Children</a></b> Jennifer at <b>Hybrid Rasta Mama</b> discusses which genstones and crystals are best used by children to support physical, emotional, and/or spiritual healing. </li>
<li><b><a href="http://talesofgoodness.com/2012/07/05/a-gardeners-meditation/" target="_blank">A Gardener’s Meditation</a></b> Andrea at <b>Tales of Goodness</b> shares how she finds peace and renewal through gardening.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://letstakethemetro.blogspot.com/2012/07/weeding-my-thoughts.html" target="_blank">Weeding My Thoughts</a></b> Amanda at <b>Let’s Take the Metro</b> discusses how nature keeps her in the moment and stops her endless stream of thoughts.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://omshesaid.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/grounded-in-nature/" target="_blank">Grounded in Nature</a></b> Rani at <b>OmSheSaid</b> shares her walk in nature, and through expressive words, shares this journey to coming home.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.dreamingaloud.net/2012/07/embracing-magic-of-moonlit-nights.html" target="_blank">Embracing the Magic of Moonlit Nights</a></b> Lucy at <b>Dreaming Aloud</b> shares ways to embrace the magic of moonlit nights with your children and as a woman.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://babyweb.co/2012/07/05/meditation-for-mindful-mama/" target="_blank">Meditation for a Mindful Mama</a></b> Alinka at <b>Baby Web</b> guides you through her research on the science of meditation, its numerous benefits, and presents to you a life changing meditation exercise.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://naturemummy.blogspot.ca/2012/07/wild-within.html" target="_blank">The Wild Within</a></b> Naturemummy at <b>Motherhood: My Latest Adventure</b> reflects on the soothing qualities of wild places.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://muminsearch.com/2012/07/natures-lessons-mindfulness/" target="_blank">Nature’s Lessons in Mindfulness</a></b> Tat at <b>Mum in Search</b> wants to bring the same mindfulness that comes so easily in nature to her relationships.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://featheraniweda.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/manicured-nature-small-spaces" target="_blank">On Manicured Nature: We Roam in Small Spaces</a></b> Featherstory at <b>The Aniweda Dream</b> shares her gratitude for her limited natural settings and her plans to expand her children's experience with the natural world.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.anktangle.com/2012/07/garden-time-out-meditation.html" target="_blank">Garden (Time Out) Meditation</a></b> Do you ever need a time out for yourself? Amy at <b>Anktangle</b> finds that during a difficult parenting moment, taking pause to spend a few minutes outside is just the thing she needs to be able to experience renewed patience, focus, and energy.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://onelovelivity.com/childofnatureblog/mother-nature-makes-me-a-better-mother/" target="_blank">Nature Makes Me a Better Mother</a></b> Terri at <b>Child of the Nature Isle</b> could not imagine parenting without Mother Nature.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://playfulplanet.com/the-healing-power-of-sunshine/" target="_blank">The Healing Power of Sunshine</a></b> Karen at <b>Playful Planet</b> shares her experiences of reneweal in the natural world.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://milliontinythings.blogspot.com/2012/07/natural-history.html" target="_blank">Natural History</a></b> Kenna at <b>A Million Tiny Things</b> gets out into nature, 200 years ago, and isn't sure she likes it there.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://themahoganyway.wordpress.com/2012/07/05/nurtured-by-nature/" target="_blank">Nurtured by Nature</a></b> Darcel at <b>The Mahogany Way</b> shares with us how being in nature helps her feel centered and connected.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://touchstonez.com/2012/07/05/mindfulness-and-nature/" target="_blank">Mindfulness and Nature</a></b> Zoie at <b>TouchstoneZ</b> explores the connection between mindfulness and the natural world.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://wp.me/p1qmQy-Sx" target="_blank">A Sense of Awe and Wonder</a></b> Kelly at <b>Becoming Crunchy</b> shares the feeling she never fails to get from the natural world and how it guides her to the mindfulness she craves.</li>
</ul>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-28311051572341441582012-06-12T00:00:00.000-07:002012-06-12T11:27:23.849-07:00Disturbing the peace<b>Welcome to the June 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Embracing Your Birth Experience</b><br />
<i>This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by <a href="http://codenamemama.com/2012/06/12/june-2012-carnatpar/" target="_blank">Code Name: Mama</a> and <a href="http://www.hobomama.com/2012/06/june-carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank">Hobo Mama</a>. This month our participants have written about at least one part of their birth experience that they can hold up and cherish.</i><br />
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I just <i>knew</i> that someone had called the cops. Somewhere in my cracking pelvic bones,
I <i>knew</i>. At the time I was a bit busy, so I would not have this
knowledge confirmed for several days, but in those screaming hours, I
<i>knew</i>. And I had a Plan.</div>
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The cops were lucky they couldn’t find our house. As we learned later through our small-town
grapevine, the cops were called by our back-fence neighbors, who didn’t
actually know our house number.
And our house is set way back behind another house and a lot of trees,
so when the cops drove down our street, they couldn’t hear me, and they
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Had they knocked, my plan (unknown to anyone but me) was to
clamber out of the birthtub, and stark naked, wet, and dripping blood between
my legs, throw the door open myself. “GO AHEAD, TAKE ME IN!” I would bellow. “I AM DAMN WELL DISTURBING THE
PEACE. BECAUSE MY PELVIS IS
EXPLODING. YOU GOT A LAW ABOUT
THAT?”</div>
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So yeah, probably best all round that they couldn’t find the
house. The neighbors settled for
screaming “Shut the fuck UP!” across the fence, to which the midwife yelled
back “She’s having a BABY!” And they left us alone after that, embarrassed by
either my volume or their intrusion, hard to know which.</div>
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The other neighbors woke their middle-school-age daughter so
she could hear the goings-on.
So, they said, she would appreciate the agonies of childbirth and the
sins of Eve. Or something like
that. Honestly, even though we all
spoke English, we didn’t speak the same language as those neighbors at
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And the thing is, you’d probably think, from all this, that
we live close to our neighbors.
Um… not so much. But if you
scream loud enough, often enough, people tend to notice, even from way down the
hill.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I always thought I’d rock by the fire, quietly, for several
hours, then grunt and groan and growl a bit, and then cry tears of joy to meet
my baby. Ha! It was more like 36 hours of whining,
followed by 12 hours of out and out screaming, followed by the midwife trying
to get me to “look at your baby” while I was busy hyperventilating and
bleeding. My slow-coming son, he
sure didn’t prepare me for motherhood by shoring up my self-esteem about what a
calm and competent mother I am. </div>
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<br /></div>
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Instead, he gave me a voice I never knew I had.</div>
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<br /></div>
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I had literally never, ever made that much noise, nor known
myself capable of it. I more
tended toward the nightmare where you try to scream but nothing comes out. Well, something came out this
time. And it’s not like I really
thought I needed to know that I have a screaming banshee somewhere in there,
but you don’t always get to pick which lessons life wants to teach you.</div>
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<br /></div>
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So I have a voice, shrill, disturbing, and loud. And as time passes, and my motherhood
matures, I keep trying to learn more about how to use it. More often than I’d like to admit, it
comes out directed at the aforementioned slow-coming son and his siblings. “WHAT were you thinking??? HOW MANY TIMES do I have to tell you
that wanton destruction of useful items is NOT OKAY???!!!”</div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7eODIkOeM3k/T85ZJFrRPnI/AAAAAAAAAak/iJMseTf321M/s1600/AMTT+cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-7eODIkOeM3k/T85ZJFrRPnI/AAAAAAAAAak/iJMseTf321M/s1600/AMTT+cover.jpg" /></a>But in the larger picture, I’m learning to direct it, to
allow my sometimes loud voice into the world in ways that I think can change
things for the better. I wrote a <a href="http://www.milliontinythings.com/">book</a> about trying to preserve our
hope as parents during a climate crisis.
Seriously, I did, despite never having published a word until after I gave
birth. </div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0vFRU1g4YNY/T85UM8ZBAvI/AAAAAAAAAaQ/MSq6CQEh-5A/s1600/Tar+Sands+Meet-up+presentation.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-0vFRU1g4YNY/T85UM8ZBAvI/AAAAAAAAAaQ/MSq6CQEh-5A/s320/Tar+Sands+Meet-up+presentation.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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And my mothering has pushed
me to start trying to make my small, loud voice be heard in larger arenas as
well, such as in the <a href="http://milliontinythings.blogspot.com/2011/11/back-to-school-time.html">Keystone
XL</a> debacle. And that time, the
cops did find me, which was, in fact, the point. </div>
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<br /></div>
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So, thanks, baby-boy-turned-big-boy, for helping me find
that voice. (I just hope to god I
never, ever, have to relive that exploding-pelvis sensation.) Roar on, loud mamas. Let’s get the cops over here.</div>
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<p>***</p>
<p><a href="http://codenamemama.com/carnival-of-natural-parenting/#carnatpar" target="_blank" title="Carnival of Natural Parenting"><img align="right" alt="Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama" border="0" class="alignright" src="http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee159/lintpicker/CNPnaturalparent.jpg" /></a>Visit <a href="http://codenamemama.com/carnival-of-natural-parenting/#carnatpar" target="_blank"> <strong>Code Name: Mama</strong></a> and <a href="http://www.hobomama.com/p/carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank"><strong>Hobo Mama</strong></a> to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!</p>
<p>Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:</p>
<p><em>(This list will be live and updated by afternoon June 12 with all the carnival links.)</em></p>
<div style="clear: both;"></div>
<ul>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.hybridrastamama.com/2012/06/i-had-c-section-so-what.html" target="_blank">I Had A C-Section. So What!</a></strong> — Jennifer at <strong>Hybrid Rasta Mama</strong> rewrites her birth story now that she has worked through the feelings of inadequacy and disappointment of not having the “perfect” birth.</li>
<li><strong><a href="#" target="_blank">The Perfect Birth</a></strong> — Kellie at <strong>Our Mindful Life</strong> reflects on how a birth can be far from what we imagined, but still perfect.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://talesofgoodness.com/2012/06/12/own-your-birth-my-hope-for-all-expectant-moms/" target="_blank">Own Your Birth: My Hope For All Expectant Moms</a></strong> — Andrea at <strong>Tales of Goodness</strong> shares how she owned her birth spiritually (while navigating it physically) in order to have a joyous experience.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://http://parentingbythelightofthemoon.blogspot.com/2012/02/carnival-of-natural-parenting-my-birth-experience.html" target="_blank">Carnival of Natural Parenting: My Birth Experience</a></strong> — It wasn't what Lily at <strong>Witch Mom</strong> wanted, but it was everything she needed. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://painless-natural-homebirth-of-babye" target="_blank">The Painless Natural Homebirth of BabyE</a></strong> — Shannon at <strong>GrowingSlower</strong> wants women considering natural birth to know painless births are possible. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.thatmamagretchen.com/2012/06/reflections-on-jemmas-birth-20-months.html" target="_blank">Reflections on Jemma's Birth ... 20 Months Later</a></strong> — It took a second pregnancy for <strong>That Mama Gretchen</strong> to fully embrace her first birth experience.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://cincodemommy.wordpress.com/2012/06/12/loving-my-unnatural-birth-experience/" target="_blank">Loving My Unnatural Birth Experience</a></strong> — Erika at <strong>Cinco de Mommy</strong> cherishes her very first birth experience, in all its unnatural glory! </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.strocel.com/be-careful-what-you-wish-for-in-birth/" target="_blank">Be Careful What you Wish for in Birth</a></strong> — Amber at <strong>Strocel.com</strong> had two births, and it was the one that went to plan that she struggled with embracing.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.hobomama.com/2012/06/june-carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank">Redeeming an unexpected hospital transfer</a></strong> — Lauren at <strong>Hobo Mama</strong> looks back at her first, interrupted home-turned-hospital birth, and finds the beauty in what happened.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.puginthekitchen.com/?p=605" target="_blank">All of it</a></strong> — Laura from <strong>Pug in the Kitchen</strong> had to learn to embrace the whole experience of birth even though it meant being naked . . . with an audience.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.mommajorje.com/2012/06/birthing-dreams-realities.html" target="_blank">Birthing Dreams & Realities</a></strong> — <strong>Momma Jorje</strong> never had a "dream birth," but she wouldn't change a thing about her births.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://hippiehousewife.blogspot.ca/2012/06/memories-of-birth-calm-amidst-storm.html" target="_blank">Memories of Birth: Calm Amidst the Storm</a></strong> — While neither of her children's births had been quite what she expected, Cynthia at <strong>The Hippie Housewife</strong> cherishes one moment in particular from each of her birth experiences.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.diaryofafirstchild.com/2012/06/03/embracing-our-birth-stories/" target="_blank">Embracing Our Birth Stories</a></strong> — Luschka from <strong>Diary of a First Child</strong> shares a sensitive post on her recent birth which both did and didn't go 'to plan', and writes about the journey of coming to terms with the good and the bad. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://agiftuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/06/two-beautiful-births.html" target="_blank">Two Beautiful Births</a></strong> — Sheila <strong>at A Gift Universe</strong> remembers how her mother brought out the beauty in each of her children's births, and tries to do the same with her sons' birth stories.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.imafulltimemummy.com/post/2012/06/12/Embracing-My-Supernatural-ChildBirth-Experiences.aspx" target="_blank">Embracing My Supernatural ChildBirth Experiences...</a></strong> — Jenny at <strong>I'm a full-time mummy</strong> shares her fond memories on both her supernatural childbirth experiences</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://monkeybuttjunction.com/?p=2048" target="_blank">Embracing the Hospital Birth Experience</a></strong> — Jenn at <strong>Monkey Butt Junction</strong> believes that sometimes a medicated, induced hospital birth is the right choice for a natural parent.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http:// http://theotherbabybook.wordpress.com/2012/06/12/carnival-embracing-your-birth-experience" target="_blank">Carnival: Embracing Your Birth Experience</a></strong> — Stephanie at <strong>The Other Baby Blog</strong> embraces the birth experience from a paleobiologist's point of view and takes a look at how humans defy their anatomy.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://farmersdaughterct.com/?p=7343" target="_blank">Reflections on My First Birth and Preparing for a Second</a></strong> — Abbie at <strong>Farmer's Daughter</strong> shares the strength she didn't realize she had until she gave birth to her son.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://meegs1982.blogspot.com/2012/06/becoming-mama-embracing-my-birth.html" target="_blank">becoming a mama - embracing my birth experience </a></strong> — Meegs at <strong>A New Day</strong> remembers the birth of her daughter Gwenivere, and the empowered feeling it left her with.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://toloveeverymoment.blogspot.ca/2012/06/what-about-us-poem-about-birth.html" target="_blank">What About Us? A Poem About Birth</a></strong> — Kat at <strong>Loving {Almost} Every Moment</strong> shares a poem she wrote about healing from an unexpected and emotionally painful birth experience.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://wp.me/pMVLj-1je" target="_blank">Be a Man: One Father's View of Birth</a></strong> — Mandy at <strong>Living Peacefully with Children</strong> shares her husband's advice to other fathers and partners.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.momeeezen.com/2012/05/birth-monologue.html" target="_blank">A Birth Monologue</a></strong> — Kat at <strong>MomeeeZen</strong> shares a monologue she wrote during the process of healing from her birth experiences.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://crunchyfarmbaby.blogspot.com/2012/06/forgiveness-my-birth-journey.html" target="_blank">Forgiveness: My Birth Journey</a></strong> — Leah at <strong>The Crunchy Farm Baby</strong> discusses what happens when her planned homebirth doesn't end up the way she wanted, and explains her journey of forgiving herself for losing that "perfect" birth.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://thinkmamathink.wordpress.com/2012/06/04/patching-together-a-perfect-birth" target="_blank">Patching together a perfect birth</a></strong> — KrissyFair at <strong>Think Mama, Think</strong> learned that sometimes a perfect birth happens in pieces.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://onelovelivity.com/childofnatureblog/celebrating-and-sharing-the-possibilities-of-perfect-birth/" target="_blank">Celebrating and Sharing the Possibilities of Perfect Birth</a></strong> — Terri from <strong>Child of the Nature Isle</strong> joyfully shares details of her perfect births and wishes to inspire a more positive cultural expectation about birth.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://bangerlm.blogspot.com/2012/06/instinct-embracing-your-birth" target="_blank">Instinct - Embracing Your Birth Experience</a></strong> — Laura at <strong>Laura's Blog</strong> reflects on instinctual moments during and after the births of her two daughters.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://thegothicmommy.wordpress.com/2012/06/12/i-was-foolish-then/" target="_blank">I was Foolish Then</a></strong> — ANonyMous at <strong>Radical Ramblings</strong> describes how foolish lack of preparation for childbirth led to a feeling of powerlessness and fear, but that in the end she had her baby in her arms, and that's one thing she can celebrate. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://muminsearch.com/2012/06/sometimes-no-plan-best-plan/" target="_blank">Sometimes no plan is the best plan</a></strong> — Tat at <strong>Mum in search</strong> contemplates that maybe she doesn't need a birth plan for her upcoming birth.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://milliontinythings.blogspot.com/2012/06/disturbing-peace.html" target="_blank">Disturbing the peace</a></strong> — Kenna at <strong>Million Tiny Things</strong> thought she would be a calm, quiet baby-haver. Ha!</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.simplysahm.blogspot.com/2012/06/accepting-unexpected-during-birth.html" target="_blank">Accepting the Unexpected During Birth</a></strong> — Emily at <strong>S.A.H.M i AM</strong> imagined herself laboring on a birthing ball but she never imagined where she'd really be most comfortable when the time came...</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://wp.me/p2jEVa-9J" target="_blank">Sacred This Time, Too</a></strong> — Kimber at <strong>The Single Crunch</strong> learned enough to know that the way she birthed wasn't they way she wanted to; but she also knew to enjoy it for what it was.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.lonehomeranger.com/2012/06/my-birth-partners-great-natural-labor.html" target="_blank">The Birth Partner: A Great Natural Labor Companion</a></strong> — Justine at <strong>The Lone Home Ranger</strong> thinks that the secret to her pleasant natural labors was having a great support system.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.crunchyconservativemommy.blogspot.com/2012/06/natural-parenting-carnival-best-thing.html" target="_blank">the Best Thing About My Labor Experience</a></strong> — <strong>Crunchy Con Mommy</strong> realizes that amidst all the things that seemed to go wrong with her labor, the love and support of her husband was the one thing she could always count on!</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://dulcefamily.blogspot.com/2012/06/your-birth-was-my-favorite.html" target="_blank">Your Birth Was My Favorite</a></strong> — <strong>Dulce de leche</strong> describes some of the highlights from each of her four births and explains why despite the differences, they are all her favorites.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://gentlemamamoon.wordpress.com/2012/06/12/birth-story-part-one/" target="_blank">Birth Story: Part One - Moon on a Stick! </a></strong> — <strong>Gentle Mama Moon</strong> tells the first part of her birth story to share some of the delight of labouring at home.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://codenamemama.com/2012/06/12/june-2012-carnatpar/" target="_blank">Embracing My Birth Experience by Sharing My Birth Story</a></strong> — Dionna at <strong>Code Name: Mama</strong> made peace with her first birth by sharing the story with her son.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://naturallifemom.com/2012/06/focusing-on-the-beauty-of-birth/" target="_blank">Focusing on the Beauty of Birth</a></strong> — Julia at <strong>A Little Bit of All of It</strong> shares the beautiful aspects of her birth center water birth.</li>
<li><strong><a href="#" target="_blank">A Joyful Induced Delivery</a></strong> — Amy Willa: <strong>Me, Mothering, and Making it All Work</strong> notes the meditations and perspective that helped her achieve an unmedicated birth despite being induced for medical reasons.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://livingmontessorinow.com/2012/06/12/finding-joy-in-an-imperfect-childbirth-experience/" target="_blank">Finding Joy in an Imperfect Childbirth Experience</a></strong> — Deb Chitwood at <strong>Living Montessori Now</strong> tells what she learned from her two very different childbirth experiences.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://crunchychewymama.com/index.php/whats-to-like-about-a-c-section" target="_blank">What's to like about a c-section?</a></strong> — Jessica at <strong>Crunchy-Chewy Mama</strong> is glad she her second child at home, but she also cherishes much about the c-section she had four years earlier.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.thevariegatedlife.com/what-story-will-i-tell/" target="_blank">What Story Will I Tell?</a></strong> — Rachael at <strong>The Variegated Life</strong> realizes that the way she tells the story of her second child's birth matters — and could be exhilarating.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://childorganics.blogspot.com/2012/06/I-quietly-put-my-hopes-to-rest.html" target="_blank">I Quietly Put My Hopes to Rest E</a></strong> — Erica at <strong>ChildOrganics</strong> shares her emotional ups and downs with the highly intervened birth of her special needs daughter, Bella. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://insteadofinstitutions.blogspot.com/2012/06/tale-of-six-births.html" target="_blank">Tale of Six Births</a></strong> — Jessica at <strong>Instead of Institutions</strong> appreciates that unique challenges and joys of each of her births.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.stoneageparenting.com/?p=358" target="_blank">Labouring naturally: nature’s gift</a></strong> — Caroline at <strong>stoneageparent</strong> describes the most beautiful, spiritual aspect of the labour of her son, the first stages along a bumpy road to giving birth.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://thiswomansworkkarns.wordpress.com/2012/06/12/all-the-woman-i-am/" target="_blank">All The Woman I Am.</a></strong> — Lindsay at <strong>This Woman's Work</strong> shares a poem about letting go and surrendering during the thralls of labor.</li>
<li><strong><a href="#" target="_blank">A twin birth story: embracing the unexpected</a></strong> — Megan at <strong>The Boho Mama</strong> shares her twin birth experience and how she found the silver lining when faced with preterm labor, premature birth, and a two-week NICU stay. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://cityhomeschooling.blogspot.com/2012/06/giving-birth-with-eminem.html" target="_blank">Giving Birth With Eminem</a></strong> — Kerry at <strong>City Kids Homeschooling</strong> shares how fiery rap music contributed to an empowered homebirth with her third baby.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://theresapickleinmylife.blogspot.com/2012/02/two-different-births.html" target="_blank">Two Different Births</a></strong> — Cassie at <strong>There's a Pickle in My Life</strong> shares how she learned from her first birth experience and how to trust yourself and your body.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/embracing-potential-birth-metaphor" target="_blank">Embracing Our Potential: Birth as a Metaphor</a></strong> — Sheila from A Living Family guest posts at <strong>Natural Parents Network</strong> and expresses how birth has served as a metaphor to help her through other experiences in life.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.ithoughtiknewmama.com/2012/06/little-sisters-birth-story/" target="_blank">Little Sister's Birth Story: Our VBAC Adventure</a></strong> — Charise at <strong>I Thought I Knew Mama</strong> describes the recent birth story of her baby girl, her pride in an epidural-free VBAC, and how her story isn't exactly the birth experience she had planned for.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://theartfulmama.com/2012/06/journey-birth-confidence/" target="_blank">A Journey in Birth Confidence</a></strong> — Shannon at <strong>The Artful Mama</strong> shares her experiences with labor during both of her sons' births.</li>
</ul>
<!-- END BOTTOM STRAIGHT LIST CODE -->Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com12tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-19332782986794934122012-05-13T12:36:00.003-07:002012-05-13T12:36:37.279-07:00Happy Mother's Day!<div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
It makes me incredibly happy when people have this response to the book:</div>
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"There is so much wisdom – so much funny – so much truth in these words Kenna has bared her soul to share. <strong>And yes, she probably is more neurotic than you <img alt=":)" class="wp-smiley" src="http://www.becomingcrunchy.com/wp-includes/images/smilies/icon_smile.gif" /> – but she’ll still inspire the heck out of you while she’s at it."</strong></div>
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<br style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;" /><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Read more at </span><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1436227796" style="color: #003399; font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;"></a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/There%20is%20so%20much%20wisdom%20%E2%80%93%20so%20much%20funny%20%E2%80%93%20so%20much%20truth%20in%20these%20words%20Kenna%20has%20bared%20her%20soul%20to%20share.%20And%20yes,%20she%20probably%20is%20more%20neurotic%20than%20you%20:%29%20%E2%80%93%20but%20she%E2%80%99ll%20still%20inspire%20the%20heck%20out%20of%20you%20while%20she%E2%80%99s%20at%20it.%20%20Read%20more:%20http://www.becomingcrunchy.com/2012/05/a-million-tiny-things-giveaway-uscan-525/#ixzz1umQg4blH" target="_blank"><span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">Becoming Crunchy </span></a></div>
<br />Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-50082946798659638222012-05-08T00:00:00.000-07:002012-05-08T11:16:17.138-07:00Text/ended Family<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"></span><br />
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<b>Welcome
to the May 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Parenting With or
Without Extended Family</b><br />
<br />
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"><i>This
post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural
Parenting hosted by <a href="http://www.hobomama.com/2012/05/may-carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank">Hobo Mama</a> and <a href="http://codenamemama.com/2012/05/08/respecting-parenting-decisions/" target="_blank">Code Name: Mama</a>. This month our
participants have shared how relatives help or hinder their parenting.
Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival
participants.</i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; font-family: Arial; font-size: 15px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: normal; text-decoration: none; vertical-align: baseline;"> </span>My sister texted me on Easter morning: “I still wish you
would move back here,” and I just sighed.
The Big Sigh. She knows as
well as I do that when you have joint custody, it’s basically like being in
geographic jail. “Thou shalt not
move,” decrees the deep disembodied voice of the family court judge from the
burning bush. </div>
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I never imagined raising my children far from my Tennessee
family. It just, well,
happened. Or, that is, it just
happened that I fell in love with someone whose need not to live in Tennessee
was greater than my need to stay there.
And it also seemed that, really, maybe being a two-mom family in
Tennessee--where as a childless lesbian couple, we were regularly asked “Can I
watch?” if we held hands in public--well, it just seemed that maybe California
would be a bit more friendly to our particular nuclear family.</div>
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And in that way, it’s been easy to be a few thousand miles
away from home. Our kids have two
moms, and no one so much as bats an eyelash. Hip-hipster-hurrah.
But that wife of mine, the one who needed to flee from Tennessee,
unfortunately, also ended up needing to flee from the Tennessean she had
married.</div>
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So now I’m a single mom. For four days each week my house resembles a Berenstein
Bears illustration we have, of three wild acrobat bears piled on top of one
poor squashed bear who is desperately trying to keep his bicycle balanced under
the load. And the choice to live
in a queer-friendly community seems like pure folly when you realize that if we
gave up that one little thing, we could live on the same farm as actual real
live grandparents. And a bonus
aunt (the aforementioned texting sister).
And ponies. That would be,
all on one piece of land, adults in a quantity actually outnumbering the children. Plus, did I mention the ponies?</div>
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“What in the heck was I ever thinking to come here?” I
wondered in my late-night exhaustion as, all alone and joyless, I set out the
Easter baskets full of over-packaged but organic bunny-shaped fruit gummies and
other equally mockable contents?
(Yes, that was me you saw at the grocery checkout with the organic
cheesy bunnies, organic bunny grahams, and organic, gluten-free bunny-shaped
ginger snaps.) </div>
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The Easter Bunny also left a basket of fair-trade chocolate
balls and organic lollipops for the afternoon egg hunt. (The Easter Bunny learned the hard way
that she can’t hide these things ahead of time, as the dog will eat them, with
unpleasant results.) Not too many
sweet things, just enough for some secular renewal-of-the-earth springtime
fun. But then, it’s easy for the
Easter Bunny to stingily parse out the treats, as, inevitably, there also
arrives the package from the bonus aunt, whom the children have nicknamed their
“candy mom.” </div>
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<br />
Easter is one of the times when it all comes into focus: how
great it would be to be closer to home, attending a sunrise service with the
liberal Episcopalian grandparents before we all hunted eggs in the giant yard
behind their house. How nice to
have an available auntie for egg-hiding and kid-distraction. And how insane to be riding a runaway
train of out-of-control candy consumption, which would probably not confine
itself to the holiday. </div>
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While I tend to think there’s a difference between homegrown
honeycomb and corn syrup candy, between grass-fed local beef and McDonalds,
between organic food from a nearby farm and shrink-wrapped veggies shipped from
South America, my scientifically-minded, candy-buying sister tells the kids:
“It’s all the same molecules when it breaks down.” Right before she buys them a fast food meal, which they
enjoy immensely. </div>
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This dynamic is tolerable, even strangely welcome as a
pressure-release from my tightly controlled food rules (you know: organic,
local, fair-labor, harvested by virgins under the full moon, and so on). Tolerable, since we only see her for a
few days each year. If we lived
there, we would actually have to have ongoing regular discussions about not
only food, but about fairly deep underlying philosophical differences. Like, for instance, her wish that my
kids could attend day camp at her church, about which she said reassuringly,
“Just because<i> you</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> don’t live a
God-sanctioned lifestyle doesn’t mean anyone would hold it against the
kids.” Um, okay, well, um, um,
um…I don’t even know how to start a conversation about that. (And because I
live very far away, I don’t have to!)</span><br />
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But I still miss her, and wish the kids knew her in a deeper
way than just as the bearer of ice cream and fast food. </div>
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I suppose it’s easy to romanticize the benefits of having
family around, and probably just as easy to take them for granted when you have
them. And the fact of the matter
is, I can’t move home, so it doesn’t matter which set of issues I would prefer
to have. What I can do, I do,
which in this case was simply to suppress my urge to pretend that the kids’
“candy mom” didn’t send a package of politically/environmentally-incorrect
Easter eggs. (I could have; it
arrived when they were at the other house, giving me a perfect opportunity to
deliver it straight into the trash bin.)
Instead I added those eggs in with what the Bunny brought, and hoped
that in some way, as they hunted among the bushes and flowers, the kids could
feel both the love with which I make such carefully conscious choices, <i>and</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> the shipped-from-Tennessee, non-organic love which
is, when it breaks down, all the same molecules of DNA. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">***</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
<a href="http://www.hobomama.com/p/carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank" title="Carnival of Natural Parenting"><img align="right" alt="Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama" border="0" class="alignright" src="http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee159/lintpicker/CNPnaturalparent.jpg" /></a>Visit <a href="http://www.hobomama.com/p/carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank"><b>Hobo Mama</b></a> and <a href="http://codenamemama.com/carnival-of-natural-parenting/" target="_blank"><b>Code Name: Mama</b></a> to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!<br />
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:<br />
<i>(This list will be live and updated by afternoon May 8 with all the carnival links.)</i><br />
<div style="clear: both;">
</div>
<ul>
<li><b><a href="http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/dealing-with-unsupportive-grandparents/" target="_blank">Dealing With Unsupportive Grandparents</a></b> — In a guest post at <b>Natural Parents Network</b>, <a href="http://www.pistachioproject.com/" target="_blank"><b>The Pistachio Project</b></a> tells what to do when your child's grandparents are less than thrilled about your parenting choices.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.imafulltimemummy.com/post/2012/05/08/Parenting-With-Extended-Family.aspx" target="_blank">Parenting With Extended Family</a></b> — Jenny at <b>I'm a full-time mummy</b> shares the pros and cons of parenting with extended family...</li>
<li><b><a href="http://meegs1982.blogspot.com/2012/05/parental-support-for-ap-mama.html" target="_blank">Parental Support for an AP Mama</a></b> — Meegs at <b>A New Day</b> talks about the invaluable support of her parents in her journey to be an AP mama.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.thatmamagretchen.com/2012/05/priceless-grandparents.html" target="_blank">Priceless Grandparents</a></b> — <b>That Mama Gretchen</b> reflects on her relationship with her priceless Grammy while sharing ways to help children preserve memories of their own special grandparents.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.aroundthebirthingball.com/newblog/2012/05/08/routines-are-meant-to-be-broken/" target="_blank">Routines Are Meant To Be Broken</a></b> — Olga at <b>Around The Birthing Ball</b> urges us to see Extended Family as a crucial and necessary link between what children are used to at home and the world at large.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.hybridrastamama.com/2012/05/it-helps-to-have-village-even-small-one.html" target="_blank">It Helps To Have A Village – Even A Small One</a></b> — Jennifer at <b>Hybrid Rasta Mama</b> discusses how she has flourished as a mother due to the support of her parents.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://cincodemommy.wordpress.com/2012/05/08/the-orange-week/" target="_blank">The Orange Week</a></b> — Erika at <b>Cinco de Mommy</b> lets go of some rules when her family finally visits extended family in San Diego.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://ourmindfullife.blogspot.com/2012/05/one-size-doesnt-fit-all.html" target="_blank">One Size Doesn't Fit All</a></b> — Kellie at <b>Our Mindful Life</b> realizes that when it comes to family, some like it bigger and some like it smaller.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://alburnet.wordpress.com/2012/05/08/it-takes-a-family/" target="_blank">It Takes a Family</a></b> — Alicia at <b>What's Next</b> can't imagine raising a child without the help of her family.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.hobomama.com/2012/05/may-carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank">A new foray into family</a></b> — As someone who never experienced close extended family, Lauren at <b>Hobo Mama</b> wrestles with how to raise her kids — and herself — to restart that type of community.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://toloveeverymoment.blogspot.ca/2012/05/my-mama-rocks.html" target="_blank">My Mama Rocks!</a></b> — Kat at <b>Loving {Almost} Every Moment</b> is one lucky Mama to have the support and presence of her own awesome Mama.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://livingmontessorinow.com/2012/05/08/embracing-extended-family/" target="_blank">Embracing Our Extended Family</a></b> — Deb Chitwood at <b>Living Montessori Now</b> shares 7 ideas for nurturing relationships with extended family members. </li>
<li><b><a href="http://mommainprogress.blogspot.it/2012/05/doing-things-differently.html" target="_blank">Doing Things Differently</a></b> — Valerie at <b>Momma in Progress</b> shares how parenting her children far away from extended family improved her confidence in her choices.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.stoneageparenting.com/2012/05/08/snapshots-of-love-family-support/" target="_blank">Snapshots of love</a></b> — Caroline at <b>stoneageparent</b> describes the joys of sharing her young son's life with her own parents.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://ursulaciller.blogspot.com.au/2012/05/parenting-with-relies-mixed-bag.html" target="_blank">Parenting with Relies – A mixed bag</a></b> — <b>Ursula Ciller</b> shares some of her viewpoints on the pros and cons of parenting with relatives and extended family.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://trueconfessionsofarealmommy.blogspot.com/2012/05/tante-and-uncles.html" target="_blank">Tante and Uncles</a></b> — How a great adult sibling relationship begets a great relationship with aunt and uncles from Jennifer at <b>True Confessions of a Real Mommy</b>.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.thebohomama.com/2012/05/how-to-successfully-visit-your-family.html" target="_blank">Tips for Traveling With Twins</a></b> — Megan at the <b>Boho Mama</b> shares some tips for traveling with infant twins (or two or more babies!).</li>
<li><b><a href="http://maydela.blogspot.com/2012/05/parenting-passed-through-generations.html" target="_blank">Parenting passed through the generations</a></b> — Shannon at <b>Pineapples & Artichokes</b> talks about the incredible parenting resource that is her found family, and how she hopes to continue the trend.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.mommajorje.com/2012/05/my-family-and-my-kids.html" target="_blank">My Family and My Kids</a></b> — Jorje of <b>Momma Jorje</b> ponders whether she distrusts her family or if she is simply a control freak.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://theclearscamandrach.blogspot.com/2012/05/parenting-with-hero.html" target="_blank">Parenting with a Hero</a></b> — Rachel at <b>Lautaret Bohemiet</b> reminisces about the relationship she shared with her younger brother, and how he now shares that closeness in a relationship with her son.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://milliontinythings.blogspot.com/2012/05/textended-family.html" target="_blank">Text/ended Family</a></b> — Kenna of <b>A Million Tiny Things</b> wishes her family was around for the Easter egg hunt... until she remembers what it's actually like having her family around.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://mommyingmyway.blogspot.com/2012/05/two-kinds-of-families" target="_blank">Two Kinds of Families</a></b> — Adrienne at <b>Mommying My Way</b> writes about how her extended family is just as valuable to her mommying as her church family.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://wp.me/p2eZWf-cu" target="_blank">My 'high-needs' child and 'strangers'</a></b> — With a 'high-needs' daughter, aNonyMous at <b>Radical Ramblings</b> has had to manage without the help of family or friends, adapting to her daughter's extreme shyness and allowing her to socialise on her own terms. </li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.lonehomeranger.com/2012/05/our-summer-tribe.html" target="_blank">Our Summer Tribe</a></b> — Justine at <b>The Lone Home Ranger</b> shares a love of her family's summer reunion, her secret to getting the wisdom of the "village" even as she lives 1,000 miles away.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.momeeezen.com/2012/05/my-life-boat-well-one-of-them.html" target="_blank">My Life Boat {Well, One of Them}</a></b> — What good is a life boat if you don't get it? Grandparents are a life boat <b>MomeeeZen</b> loves!</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.puginthekitchen.com/2012/05/dear-children/" target="_blank">Dear Children</a></b> — In an open letter to her children, Laura at <b>Pug in the Kitchen</b> promises to support them as needed in her early days of parenting.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.anktangle.com/2012/05/yearning-for-tribal-times.html" target="_blank">Yearning for Tribal Times</a></b> — Ever had one of <i>those</i> days where everything seems to keep going wrong? Amy at <b>Anktangle</b> recounts one such day and how it inspired her to think about what life must've been like when we lived together in large family units.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://crunchychewymama.com/index.php/i-dont-have-a-village/" target="_blank">I don't have a village</a></b> — Jessica Claire at <b>Crunchy-Chewy Mama</b> wishes she had family nearby but appreciates their support and respect.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://traditionalbaby.blogspot.com/2012/05/trouble-with-mils-ourselves.html" target="_blank">Trouble With MILs-- Ourselves?</a></b> — Jaye Anne at <b>Wide Awake Half Asleep</b> explains how her arguments with her mother-in-law may have something to do with herself.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://vibrantwanderings.com/2012/05/a-family-apart.html" target="_blank">A Family Apart</a></b> — Melissa at <b>Vibrant Wanderings</b> writes about the challenges, and the benefits, of building a family apart from relatives.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://touchstonez.com/2012/05/08/first-do-no-harm/" target="_blank">First Do No Harm</a></b> — Zoie at <b>TouchstoneZ</b> asks: How do you write about making different parenting choices than your own family experience without criticizing your parents?</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.amywilla.com/2012/05/military-family-separation.html" target="_blank">Military Family Separation</a></b> — <b>Amy Willa</b> shares her feelings about being separated from extended family during her military family journey.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.diaryofafirstchild.com/2012/05/08/forging-a-village-in-the-absence-of-one/" target="_blank">Forging A Village In The Absence Of One</a></b> — Luschka from <b>Diary of a First Child</b> writes about the importance of creating a support network, a village, when family isn't an option. </li>
<li><b><a href="http://codenamemama.com/2012/05/08/respecting-parenting-decisions/" target="_blank">Respecting My Sister’s Parenting Decisions</a></b> — Dionna at <b>Code Name: Mama</b>'s sister is guest posting on the many roles she has as an aunt. The most important? She is the named guardian, and she takes that role seriously.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://theotherbabybook.wordpress.com/2012/05/08/multi-generational-living-an-exercise-in-love-patience-and-co-parenting/" target="_blank">Multi-Generational Living: An Exercise in Love, Patience, and Co-Parenting</a></b> — Boomerang Mama at <b>The Other Baby Book</b> shares her experience of moving back in with Mom and Dad for 7 months, and the unexpected connection that followed.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://alivingfamily.com/2012/05/08/a-heartfelt-letter-to-family/" target="_blank">A Heartfelt Letter to Family: Yes, We're Weird, but Please Respect Us Anyway</a></b> — Sheila of <b>A Living Family</b> sincerely expresses ways she would appreciate her extended family’s support for her and her children, despite their “weird” parenting choices.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://onelovelivity.com/childofnatureblog/the-nuclear-family-is-insane-we-welcome-community" target="_blank">The nuclear family is insane!</a></b> — Terri at <b>Child of the Nature Isle</b> is grateful for family support, wishes her Mum lived closer, and feels an intentional community would be the ideal way to raise her children. </li>
</ul>
</span>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-23969062931545844212012-04-22T12:20:00.000-07:002012-04-22T12:41:36.919-07:00Earth Day Birthdays<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"></span><style>
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Earth Day always lurks on my calendar, ready to jump out
with a big “Boo! Did you save the Earth this year?” </div>
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgleOD1meeQjX3a2K_BpdYn-xoM5Q649w9eDMQnr04A5DbBH6-xD4Ds89BWSVS_5xsBw1DX8HM_CmcToeZ8Ed5VnArsiOtTXrzYKYjxpHhJxx-gipyA4pDWFRxRaQ0VvrAoHOXhwwDSPHiO/s1600/p_00258.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgleOD1meeQjX3a2K_BpdYn-xoM5Q649w9eDMQnr04A5DbBH6-xD4Ds89BWSVS_5xsBw1DX8HM_CmcToeZ8Ed5VnArsiOtTXrzYKYjxpHhJxx-gipyA4pDWFRxRaQ0VvrAoHOXhwwDSPHiO/s320/p_00258.jpg" width="296" /></a></div>
It’s not like we could forget about it at my house: Earth
Day is my birthday. What’s more,
the day right before it is my daughter’s birthday, providing me ample
opportunity to offer up unwanted birthday party themes like “Clean Up the
Beach” or “Let’s Carpool to the Nearest Park for Organic, Wholegrain Cake and
Unwrapped, Recycled Gifts.” Poor
thing, she wouldn’t mind some plastic toys and shiny new wrapping paper once in
a while. </div>
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Being saddled with an eco-obsessed mother, now, <i>that</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> might actually be a bit of a real burden. Because I’m the type of mom who
finishes a sentence with the word “burden” and immediately starts thinking
about the concept of “body burden” and our toxic world, and how quickly we are
making it more toxic*, and then I start to feel guilty for how much I drive my
car and so I snap at the kids for letting the water run too long while they are
brushing their teeth. </span></div>
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Yes, <i>I</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> drive too
much, so </span><i>they</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> should remember to
turn off the water. What? It makes sense to me, um, sort of, in a
twisted kind of way.</span></div>
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Then I feel bad for being a grouchy mom, so I let them stay
up past bedtime for extra reading and cuddling, but then I feel ashamed for
having left so many of the lights on while I was doing aforementioned reading,
and then…well, it basically never ends.
How’s a bright-eyed five-year-old supposed to deal with so much maternal
neurosis?</div>
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Or, for that matter, so much cultural neurosis? It seems
like the consensus out there, by now, is pretty much “Let’s do it! Let’s save
the planet!”—and then we all go on with our over-consumption and “just this
once” justifications. I know I do,
even though I swear I try, fishing my bamboo spoon out of my purse at the ice
cream store that only offers plastic ones, signing email petitions daily,
organizing parties to spread the word about how insane we are for continuing
development of the Canadian Tar Sands.
Printing out infographics linking extreme weather to climate change and
bringing them to potlucks. People
see me coming and start to blurt out their latest green triumph. “I told my favorite restaurant to stop
using plastic to-go containers.”
“I explained to my neighbor how to use the recycle bin.” “I remembered my bags!” </div>
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We report these tiny successes to each other as a way of
warding off the demons of our larger failures. “I didn’t manage to get the Supreme Court to reverse the
Citizen’s United decision.” “I haven’t
been able to ban mountaintop removal coal mining.” “I didn’t even convince my city council that expanding inane
consumption by building even more big box stores is a bad idea.” But hey, we <i>did</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> carpool to work, right? Right? Doesn’t
that count?</span></div>
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Mostly, I don’t feel like it counts. The problems are so large, and I’m so
small. And it’s pretty darn easy
to turn all my worries about what kind of world my children will inherit into a
deep and real case of depression, so I toil away at not just retreating with
them under the covers, cuddling and reading into the night, electric use be
damned. It takes all my grown-up
discipline, but I’m working to remember that birthdays are not about what
you’ve done so far; birthdays are about blowing out the candles and wishing for
the future. </div>
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Cultural problems, like this climate mess we are in, require
cultural solutions, so I’m not going to be able to fix it all by myself. But if I look back over the past year,
I can find all sorts of good news reflected in those small self-reports of
righteousness: We are seeing, more and more, how many ways we could do
better. Our culture is actually
shifting—maybe not as quickly as I’d like, maybe not even as quickly as it
would have to for my kids to have a liveable planet—but change is happening. </div>
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So, when Earth Day interrogates me this year, I’ll just say,
“Look, I’m really doing my best here.
Whether it’s good enough doesn’t matter, because it really is my best,
and my best keeps getting better.”
Then I’ll blow out the candles, hoping.</div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">* Read just about anything ever written by Sandra
Steingraber if you want a more scientific approach than my “Yikes, we’re all
poisoning ourselves!” panic.</span></div>
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<br /></div>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-22970911958981958702012-04-10T00:00:00.000-07:002012-04-10T19:09:06.656-07:00Cleanliness is next to… dirt.<b>Welcome to the April 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Kids and Personal Care</b><br />
<i>This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by <a href="http://codenamemama.com/2012/04/10/april-2012-carnatpar/" target="_blank">Code Name: Mama</a> and <a href="http://www.hobomama.com/2012/04/april-carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank">Hobo Mama</a>. This month our participants have shared stories, tips, and struggles relating to their children's personal care choices.</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I’m sure it drives my ex insane: during the four days that
the kids are with me each week, they are as likely to take a mud bath as they
are to take a shower. But hey,
since I’ve been the steward of my backyard mudpit for the last decade, I’m
pretty sure I know what’s in there (um, microbe-rich, pesticide-free mud). Which is more than I can say about most
soaps and shampoos. So who’s to
say what’s “cleaner” anyway.</span>
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Well, there are scientists who study this stuff, and they probably
could tell me, if I knew any of them.
Fortunately, lots of them work with and for Environmental Working Group,
and they keep these massive searchable databases about what’s in a vast range
of the products that line up on the edge of the tub. Their <a href="http://www.ewg.org/skindeep/" target="_blank">Skin Deep®
Cosmetics Database</a>, which it would not immediately occur to me to search,
since as a letting-myself-go middle-aged earth-mama type, I don’t really think
of myself as using “cosmetics,” provides anyone with internet access with more
information than we ever wanted to have about soaps, shampoos, sunscreens, and
lots of other things we put on our kids.</div>
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The pervasiveness of not-entirely-safe ingredients in our
body-cleaning products begs the question of whether “healthy” and “clean”
correlate as closely as we like to think.
As a nurse, I do a heck of a lot of hand-washing, and I do honestly
believe in it as a way of preventing the spread of disease. I take quite seriously my
responsibility in not transferring germs from one patient to another. But as a mom, I let my kids spend a lot
of time in dirt, and don’t worry too much about how much of it gets in their
mouths. And although I believe in
handwashing, I’m completely and totally opposed to anti-bacterial soaps (for
all those of us who are lucky enough not have an immune-suppressed family
member). Plain soap with minimal
additives, plus water and friction, never ever contributed to the evolution of
a super-bug, as far as I know. </div>
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I was once told by a friend, quite earnestly, that I was
“not clean enough” to become a nurse.
And if you looked at my kids’ fingernails, you might well agree. As for me, I do occasionally cringe
when I notice those half-moons of black as they climb out of the car to go to
school. But then I relax,
remembering that they got that way out in our very own organic garden. So I just call it good clean dirt. Which is clean enough for me.</div>
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<a href="http://codenamemama.com/carnival-of-natural-parenting/#carnatpar" target="_blank" title="Carnival of Natural Parenting"><img align="right" alt="Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama" border="0" class="alignright" src="http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee159/lintpicker/CNPnaturalparent.jpg" /></a>Visit <a href="http://codenamemama.com/carnival-of-natural-parenting/#carnatpar" target="_blank"> <b>Code Name: Mama</b></a> and <a href="http://www.hobomama.com/p/carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank"><b>Hobo Mama</b></a> to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!<br />
Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:<br />
<i>(This list will be live and updated by afternoon April 10 with all the carnival links.)</i><br />
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<li><b><a href="http://www.thatmamagretchen.com/2012/04/rub-dub-co-bathing-in-our-tub.html" target="_blank">Rub-a-Dub Co-Bathing in Our Tub</a></b> — Bath time is more than soap and water! <b>That Mama Gretchen</b> shares how co-bathing with her toddler has opened up a world of cleanliness, learning, and bonding.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://growingslower.blogspot.com/2012/04/this-is-how-we-take-bath.html" target="_blank">This is How We Take a Bath</a></b> — Shannon at <b>GrowingSlower</b> shares her special formulas for babywash and a happy bath time.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://theartfulmama.com/2012/04/gently-trim-your-toddlers-nails" target="_blank">How to Gently Trim Your Toddler's Nails</a></b> — Shannon at <b>The Artful Mama</b> discusses some of the gentle suggestions she has received to help Little Man overcome his anxiety of having his nails trimmed, as well as how she copes with her need for his nails to be trimmed.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://ursulaciller.blogspot.com.au/2012/04/baby-bath-time-and-skin-care.html" target="_blank">Baby bath time and skin care</a></b> — <b>Ursula Ciller</b> shares some simple and natural tips for bathing and skin care.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.hybridrastamama.com/2012/04/want-your-child-to-love-getting-clean.html" target="_blank">Want Your Child To Love Getting Clean? Have Them Make Their Own Soaps, Shampoos, and Lotions!</a></b> — Jennifer at <b>Hybrid Rasta Mama</b> shares her secret to empowering her daughter to "get clean." Together, Jennifer and her daughter make their own body washes and lotions which makes clean up time fun!</li>
<li><b><a href="http://presenceparenting.com/?p=4299" target="_blank">Encouraging Self-care Through Awareness... and Fun</a></b> — Amy at <b>Presence Parenting</b> shares some tips on how to transform self-care from a struggle into an opportunity -- for kids and adults.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.hobomama.com/2012/04/april-carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank">Caring for kids' curls</a></b> — Lauren at <b>Hobo Mama</b> tells you how to clean, condition, comb, and style ringlets and waves on little heads.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.mommajorje.com/2012/04/playing-in-rain.html" target="_blank">Playing in the Rain</a></b> — Jorje of <b>Momma Jorje</b> loves how her family has come to make a <i>family event</i> of showering!</li>
<li><b><a href="http://theclearscamandrach.blogspot.com/2012/04/cleansing-powers-of-football.html" target="_blank">The Cleansing Power of the Football</a></b> — Rachel at <b>Lautaret Bohemiet</b> talks about her son's favorite bath buddy.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.thebohomama.com/2011/04/coconut-oil-natures-baby-magic.html" target="_blank">Coconut Oil: Nature's "Baby Magic"</a></b> — Megan at <b>The Boho Mama</b> has only one must-have baby care item in her cupboard: Coconut Oil!</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.ourlittleacorn.com/2012/04/for-sensitive-kids-less-is-more" target="_blank">For Sensitive Kids, Less Is More</a></b> — Kadiera at <b>Our Little Acorn</b> finds less cleaning is better.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://ourfeministplayschool.ca/bathtime/" target="_blank">Bathtime: Just Another Chance to Play! </a></b> — Lyndsay at <b>Our Feminist {Play} School</b> discusses the many reasons bath time is important - getting clean isn't one of them.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://agiftuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/04/hygiene-what-hygiene.html" target="_blank">Hygiene? What hygiene?</a></b> — Sheila at <b>A Gift Universe</b> confesses some of her most embarrassing hygiene secrets.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://traditionalbaby.blogspot.com/2012/04/confused-about-chemicals.html" target="_blank">Confused About Chemicals?</a></b> — Jaye Anne at <b>Wide Awake, Half Asleep</b> describes how to find out where the toxic chemicals are in your house and tips on alternatives.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://wp.me/p2eZWf-8v" target="_blank">Clipping Those Talons</a></b> — ANonyMous at <b>Radical Ramblings</b> describes the ways her daughter's tolerance for personal care has changed over time, especially when it comes to nail clipping.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.authenticparenting.info/2012/04/sit-back-relax-and-unschool-hygiene.html" target="_blank">Sit Back, Relax and Unschool Hygiene</a></b> — Instead of focusing on tactics of how to 'get' your child to focus on hygiene, <b>Authentic Parenting</b> explains how to help your child internalize hygienic standards.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://positiveparentingconnection.net/531" target="_blank">Help! My Tot will not let me brush her teeth!</a></b> — <b>Mudpiemama</b> shares five positive ways to help toddlers brush teeth and sabotage the tooth fairy’s secret conspiracy.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://little-willa-lamb.blogspot.com/2012/04/self-care-and-spirited-child.html" target="_blank">Self Care and the Spirited Child</a></b> — Amy at <b>Toddler In Tow</b> shares how a balancing act between independence and connectedness helps her spirited child learn appropriate self-care.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://naturalparentsnetwork.com/hair-brushing-is-safety-issue/" target="_blank">Hairbrushing is a Safety Issue</a></b> — <b>Dulce de leche</b> guest posting at <b>Natural Parents Network</b> explains that although tangles are not a safety issue, self-confidence and body boundaries are.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://codenamemama.com/2012/04/10/april-2012-carnatpar/" target="_blank">15 Ideas to Prepare Toddlers and Preschoolers for Dental Procedures</a></b> — Dionna at <b>Code Name: Mama</b> is sharing ideas on how to thoughtfully prepare little ones for dental visits (particularly those that require anesthesia).</li>
<li><b><a href="http://childorganics.blogspot.com/2012/04/holistic-care-of-your-toddlers-teeth.html" target="_blank">Holistic Care of your Toddler's Teeth</a></b> — Erica at <b>ChildOrganics</b> tells a tale of her children's teeth issues and how she uses homeopathy and good nutrition to keep cavities at bay.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.africanbabiesdontcry.com/2012/04/bath-time-bliss-fuss-free-bath-time-for.html" target="_blank">Bath Time Bliss : Fuss-Free Bath Time for Toddlers</a></b> — Christine at <b>African Babies Don't Cry</b> shares how she has made bath time completely fuss free for both her and her toddler.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://cityhomeschooling.blogspot.com/2012/04/homemade-natural-toothpaste.html" target="_blank">Homemade Natural Toothpaste</a></b> — <b>City Kids Homeschooling</b> hosts a guest post on a homemade natural toothpaste recipe that kids will love!</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.crunchyconservativemommy.blogspot.com/2012/04/bathing-strike-strategies.html" target="_blank">Bathing Strike Strategies</a></b> — <b>Crunchy Con Mommy</b> offers her best tips for keeping your little ones clean when they refuse to bathe.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://wp.me/pMVLj-1eo" target="_blank">Bodily Autonomy and Personal Hygeine</a></b> — Mandy at <b>Living Peacefully with Children</b> discusses the importance of supporting a child's bodily autonomy in the prevention of abuse.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://toloveeverymoment.blogspot.ca/2012/04/tub-full-of-kids.html" target="_blank">A Tub Full of Kiddos!</a></b> — Kat at <b>Loving {Almost} Every Moment</b> has kiddos who love the water, so bathtime is a favorite evening activity!</li>
<li><b><a href="http://mommyingmyway.blogspot.com/2012/04/trials-of-tidying-my-toddler.html" target="_blank">The Trials of Tidying My Toddler</a></b> — Adrienne at <b>Mommying My Way</b> shares the difficulties she has with getting her on-the-go son to be still enough to get clean.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.puginthekitchen.com/2012/04/wiped-away/" target="_blank">Wiped Clean</a></b> — Laura at <b>Pug in the Kitchen</b> shares her recipe for homemade diaper wipe solution to clean those sweet little cloth diapered bottoms in her home!</li>
<li><b><a href="http://wp.me/p2ce7l-Lo" target="_blank">Snug in a Towel: Embracing Personal Grooming</a></b> — Personal care is time consuming,especially with more than one child; but the mama at <b>Our Muddy Boots</b> is learning to embrace this fleeting and needful time.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://trueconfessionsofarealmommy.blogspot.com/2012/04/ec-all-or-nothing.html" target="_blank">EC: All or Nothing?</a></b> — Elimination Communication. Even the title sounds complicated and time consuming. It doesn't have to, if you adapt it to meet your family's needs, says Jennifer at <b>True Confessions of a Real Mommy</b>.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.anktangle.com/2012/04/routine-battles.html" target="_blank">Routine Battles</a></b> — In a guest post at <b>Anktangle</b>, Jorje of Momma Jorje outlines a simple incentive to help inspire your little one to follow a routine.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.lonehomeranger.com/2012/04/redefining-beauty-for-my-daughter.html" target="_blank">Redefining Beauty For My Daughter</a></b> — Justine at <b>The Lone Home Ranger</b> relays her struggle to define her own femininity and how her preschooler unexpectedly taught her a lesson in true beauty.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.happy-mothering.com/04/beauty/personal-care/bath-time-peace-time" target="_blank">Rub-A-Dub-Dub, Three Girls In The Tub</a></b> — Chrystal at <b>Happy Mothering</b> shares how she turns bath time into a few minutes of peace and quiet.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://livingmontessorinow.com/2012/04/10/montessori-inspired-activities-for-care-of-self/" target="_blank">Montessori-Inspired Activities for Care of Self</a></b> — Deb Chitwood at <b>Living Montessori Now</b> has a roundup of Montessori-inspired activities for care of self and ideas for home environments that encourage independence.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://life-is-learning.blogspot.com/2012/04/10-gentle-tips-for-kids-who-hate-bath.html" target="_blank">10 Gentle Tips for Little Ones Who Hate the Bath</a></b> — Kim at <b>life-is-learning</b> gives 10 tips to get your little one into the bath and maybe even enjoying it.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://www.bisonweb.ca/blog/?p=1130" target="_blank">The Boy With The Long Hair</a></b> — Liam at <b>In The Now</b> discusses his son's grooming choices.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://vibrantwanderings.com/2012/04/personal-care-in-a-montessori-home.html" target="_blank">Personal Care in a Montessori Home</a></b> — Melissa at <b>Vibrant Wanderings</b> shares a summary of the ways she has organized her family's home to make for easy, Montessori-inspired toddler personal care.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://ourmindfullife.blogspot.com/2012/04/styling-kids.html" target="_blank">Styling Kids</a></b> — Kellie at <b>Our Mindful Life</b> is letting her kids decide what to look like.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://homeschoolblogger.com/novascotia/?p=785366" target="_blank">Clean Kids: Laundry and Bath Tips</a></b> — Kimberly at <b>Homeschooling in Nova Scotia</b> shares tips on how to get your children helping with laundry plus recipes for laundry and liquid soap.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://cincodemommy.wordpress.com/2012/04/10/clean-naturally-tutorial/" target="_blank">How to Clean Your Children Naturally: A Tutorial </a></b> — Erika at <b>Cinco de Mommy</b> shows you how to clean your children.</li>
<li><b><a href="http://milliontinythings.blogspot.com/2012/04/cleanliness-is-next-to-dirt.html" target="_blank">Cleaniliness is next to... dirt</a></b> — The lapse-prone eco-mom (Kenna at <b>Million Tiny Things</b>) sometimes forgets to bathe the kids. Except in the mud pit.</li>
</ul>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com13tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-45748178765756856852012-03-24T14:00:00.004-07:002012-03-24T14:03:09.604-07:00Bringing home the bok choy. Or, maybe not.<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">I grew up with those old Enjoli ads. (Remember those? Or am I showing my age?) “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up
in a pan, and never, never let you forget you’re a man… cause I’m a woman…”
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Much as my lesbian feminist self would like to deny it, that
song still hums somewhere deep in my subconscious image of How Life Should Be:
I’m supposed to be able to do it all.
And as a single mother, I often <i>do</i><span style="font-style: normal;">
“Do It All;” at least, I do everything that gets done. I work full time, I pay the bills, I
cook the meals, I check the web to ensure that the products I buy are actually
healthy for kids, and in my spare time, I try to teach my children all the
things they might need to know to survive in a post-carbon economy and live a
sustainable lifestyle. Whew.</span></div>
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Plus, I bring home the bacon. Totally righteous pasture-raised bacon, right there in the
deep freeze alongside the rest of the pig. But in trying to keep up with the cultural sprint toward
sustainability, I’ve slowed down our consumption of aforementioned frozen pig
in favor of mostly plant-based meals.
Bok choy in place of bacon.
Totally righteous, local, organic plants, grown by totally righteous
local farmers. Sustainability, ho!</div>
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Each week I head to our local farm to pick up our box of
veggies, and I used to bring it all home and scour my cookbooks for ways to
cook the less popular options. By
March, we are all feeling particularly oppressed by the surplus of greens, more
greens, plus some bok choy. It’s
so warm out, where are the strawberries?
Really, not for another <i>month</i><span style="font-style: normal;">
yet? </span></div>
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(My kids are finally getting old enough to really understand
that the presence of fruit outside the grocery store does not necessarily
correlate to the fruit actually being in season. But they still look longingly at the shipped-in
strawberries.)</div>
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I used to dutifully transfer the contents of my veggie box
into my bags. But the more I get
used to the single-mothering gig, the more honest I have to be with myself
about what “sustainable” really means at my house. Greens and bok choy that rot in the fridge and then get fed
to the chickens, no matter how righteously grown, are not really
sustainable. And they make me feel
guilty for not being that mom whose kids just love those hearty greens. </div>
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I’ve spent many many hours pulverizing greens into specks
too small to scrape off your pasta, or experimenting with seasonings (including
bacon, of course), making kale “chips” and other “kid-friendly” suggestions
(oh, please, no more suggestions, I swear I’ve tried). The real truth is, only my oldest child
and I will eat more than a bite or two of greens that aren’t spinach.</div>
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This spring, I’m getting real with my sustainability, and
really looking at what makes a sustainable life rather than just trying to Do
It All, so as a first step, I leave the bok choy at the farm for someone else
to bring home. I bring home only
as many greens as my ten-year-old and I will eat in a week’s time, and I do as
much as I can. Which is enough.</div>
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</span>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-10437189765906574532012-02-14T00:00:00.000-08:002012-02-14T15:31:55.455-08:00Mending<b>Welcome to the February 2012 Carnival of Natural Parenting: Respectful Interactions With Other Parents</b><br />
<i>This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by <a href="http://codenamemama.com/2012/02/14/feb-2012-carnatpar/" target="_blank">Code Name: Mama</a> and <a href="http://www.hobomama.com/2012/02/february-carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank">Hobo Mama</a>. This month our participants have focused on how we can communicate with other parents compassionately.</i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">“I, um, I didn’t mean to slather my anxiety all over you.”
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It has taken me a few minutes to dredge up the courage to
apologize. Really, it’s the least
I can do. I’ve already killed the
friendly, relaxed parental conversation happening in the kindergarten
yard. Why, oh why, do I do this?</div>
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I like the other parents in the yard. Actually, I like them a lot. But I’ve been walking this tightrope
with being polite on one side and being honest on the other, and sometimes,
often, I lose my balance.</div>
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It’s not like I’m the most righteous parent in the yard or
anything. I mean, I’m not the one
giving out the formula for the unsweetened kale smoothie that the not-mine
children happily drink on their way to school. </div>
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No, I’m the one getting high-pitched and uptight about why
jeans are bad. </div>
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Seriously?
Who’s gonna attack a concept as basic to the school-day wardrobe as
jeans? Probably ninety-five
percent of the humans of all sizes within 100 yards of me are wearing
jeans. Including me. But does that stop me?</div>
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It started innocently enough, with a discussion of some
available hand-me-downs, which segued into the difficulty of finding
thrift-store pants for the school-age boy, and why-oh-why the double-kneed
jeans of our youth don’t seem to exist anymore. And then another mom walked up and, hearing the topic of
jeans, asked where people go to find cheap ones. She works and doesn’t have time to check the thrift stores
weekly to see if any have come in.
She’s just trying to clothe her kid. </div>
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This is the juncture at which I should have just walked
away, instead of listening to the long discussion of which discount outlet has
the best deals on the coolest jeans.
Somehow unable to withdraw, I have to pitch in, “I try not to buy new
jeans if I can avoid it.”</div>
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“Why? Are jeans
bad?” one of the moms asks.</div>
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Oh, yeah, jeans are bad. In fact, in the interest of NOT always putting in my two
cents, I’ll leave it at that.
(Unless you really want to know, then you can google things like
“pesticide use on cotton crops” and “water pollution with indigo dye.” Not to mention “textile worker labor
conditions.”) But in the yard, I
threw my two cents right in there, loudly.
To which no one responded.
What could they say, anyway?</div>
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Nope, the conversation just died; we all suddenly had to
call out to our kids that it was time to go into the classroom. And I tried to cover my social
awkwardness by adding, “But they sometimes have great deals those ‘water-less’
jeans on levis.com.” Everyone just
stares at me with a mixture of pity and disbelief, like, “Really?”</div>
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“Yeah, um, those are maybe marginally better?” I stutter,
backing away toward my daughter, whom at any moment I may need to hide
behind. And then we all take in
the kids, and as we leave, I apologize to the poor mom who just wanted some
tips on where she could pick up some sturdy pants for her son. </div>
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It’s not my job to educate other parents about the
environmental impact of their clothing choices. Either they know, of they do not, and if they don’t, then
their not-knowing is, I believe, in this place and time, willful. And it’s definitely not my job to
externalize my guilt for having bought my own brood each two pairs of brand-new
skinny jeans this year, when I got way behind on the mountain of to-be-mended
jeans. So I gotta just live and
let live. Even if sometime I think
it might kill me.</div>
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Because in the end, jeans are easier to mend than
relationships (just ask my ex).
And if I want to teach people how to live more lightly on this planet, I
can just shut my mouth and get back to my mending.</div>
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<p><a href="http://codenamemama.com/carnival-of-natural-parenting/" target="_blank" title="Carnival of Natural Parenting"><img align="right" alt="Carnival of Natural Parenting -- Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama" border="0" class="alignright" src="http://i233.photobucket.com/albums/ee159/lintpicker/CNPnaturalparent.jpg" /></a>Visit <a href="http://codenamemama.com/carnival-of-natural-parenting/" target="_blank"><strong>Code Name: Mama</strong></a> and <a href="http://www.hobomama.com/p/carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank"><strong>Hobo Mama</strong></a> to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!</p>
<p>Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:</p>
<p><em>(This list will be live and updated by afternoon February 14 with all the carnival links.)</em></p>
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<ul>
<li><strong><a href="http://wp.me/p1eq2r-3Xz" target="_blank">How to Respond Respectfully to Unwanted Parenting Advice and Judgment</a></strong> — At <strong>Natural Parents Network</strong>, Amy (of Peace 4 Parents) offers some ways to deal with parenting advice and criticism, whether it's from your mom or the grocery store clerk.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.hybridrastamama.com/2012/02/judgement-is-natural-just-dont-condemn.html" target="_blank">Judgement is Natural - Just Don't Condemn</a></strong> — Jennifer at <strong>Hybrid Rasta Mama</strong> shared her views on why judgment is unavoidable and why the bigger issue is condemnation.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://mommainprogress.blogspot.com/2012/02/four-ways-to-share-your-parenting.html" target="_blank">Four Ways To Share Your Parenting Philosophy Gently</a></strong> — Valerie at <strong>Momma in Progress</strong> shares tips for communicating with fellow parents in a positive, peaceful manner.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://http://parentingbythelightofthemoon.blogspot.com/2012/02/carnival-of-natural-parenting-parental-disagreements.html" target="_blank">When Other Parents Disagree With You</a></strong> — Being an attachment parent is hard enough, but when you are Lily, aka <strong>Witch Mom</strong>, someone who does not enforce gender roles on her kid, who devalues capitalism and materialism, and instead prefers homeschooling and homesteading — you are bound to disagree with someone, somewhere!</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://dreamingaloudnet.blogspot.com/2012/02/mama-bashing.html" target="_blank">Mama Bashing</a></strong> — Lucy at <strong>Dreaming Aloud</strong> reflects on the hurt caused on the blogosphere by mama bashing and pleads for a more mindful way of dealing with differences.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.fineandfairblog.com/2012/02/accentuate-positive.html" target="_blank">Accentuate the Positive</a></strong> — Joella at <strong>Fine and Fair</strong> shares how she manages interactions with the parents she encounters in her work as a Parent Coach and Substance Abuse Counselor by building trusting relationships and affirming strengths.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.mummedia.net/2012/02/the-politics-of-mothers-–-keys-to-respectful-interactions-with-other-parents/ ? " target="_blank">The politics of mothers – keys to respectful interactions with other parents</a></strong> — Tara from <strong>MUMmedia</strong> offers great tips for handling the inevitable conflict of ideas and personalities in parenting/mother's groups, etc.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://agiftuniverse.blogspot.com/2012/02/trying-to-build-our-village.html" target="_blank">Trying to build our village</a></strong> — Sheila at <strong>A Gift Universe</strong> tells how she went from knowing no other moms in her new town to building a real community of mothers.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://theartfulmama.com/2012/02/internet-etiquette-mommy-wars/" target="_blank">Internet Etiquette in the Mommy Wars</a></strong> — Shannon at <strong>The Artful Mama</strong> discusses how she handles heated topics in the "Mommy-space" online.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.parentinggodschildren.blogspot.com/2012/02/parenting-with-convictions.html" target="_blank">Parenting with Convictions</a></strong> — Sarah at <strong>Parenting God's Children</strong> encourages love and support for fellow parents and their convictions.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.imafulltimemummy.com/post/2012/02/14/How-To-Be-Respectful-Despite-Disagreeing-On-Parenting-Styles.aspx" target="_blank">How To Be Respectful Despite Disagreeing On Parenting Styles...</a></strong> — Jenny at <strong>I'm a Full-Time Mummy</strong> shares her two cents' worth on how to have respectful interactions with other parents despite disagreeing on parenting styles.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.mommajorje.com/2012/02/public-relations.html" target="_blank">Public Relations</a></strong> — <strong>Momma Jorje</strong> touches on keeping the peace when discussing parenting styles.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://theotherbabybook.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/navigating-parenting-politics" target="_blank">Navigating Parenting Politics </a></strong> — Since choosing an alternative parenting style means rejecting the mainstream, Miriam at <strong>The Other Baby Book</strong> shares a few simple tips that can help avoid hurt feelings.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.hobomama.com/2012/02/february-carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank">Hiding in my grace cave</a></strong> — Lauren at <strong>Hobo Mama</strong> wants to forget that not all parents are as respectful and tolerant as the people with whom she now surrounds herself.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://fabulousmamachronicles.blogspot.com/2012/02/carnival-of-natural-parenting.html" target="_blank">Carnival of Natural Parenting - Respectful Interactions with Other Parents</a></strong> — Wolfmother at <strong>Fabulous Mama Chronicles</strong> explores how her attitude has changed regarding sharing information and opinions with others and how she now chooses to keep the peace during social outings. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://http://zen-mummy.blogspot.com/2012/02/empathy-and-respect.html" target="_blank">Empathy and respect</a></strong> — Helen at <strong>zen mummy</strong> tries to find her zen in the midst of the Mummy Wars.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://little-willa-lamb.blogspot.com/2012/02/not-holier-than-thou" target="_blank">Not Holier Than Thou</a></strong> — Amyables at <strong>Toddler in Tow</strong> muses about how she's learned to love all parents, despite differences, disagreements, and awkward conversations.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://highneedsattachment.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/nonviolent-communication-and-unconditional-love/" target="_blank">Nonviolent Communication and Unconditional Love</a></strong> — Wendylori at <strong>High Needs Attachment</strong> reflects on the choice to not take offense as the key to honest and open communication.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://mamammalia.blogspot.com/2012/02/respectful-parenting-as-way-of-life" target="_blank">Respectful Parenting As a Way of Life</a></strong> — Sylvia at <strong>MaMammalia</strong> writes about using her parenting philosophy as a guide to dealing with other parents who make very different choices from her.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://cityhomeschooling.blogspot.com/2012/02/homeschooling-why-not.html" target="_blank">Homeschooling: Why Not?</a></strong> — Kerry at <strong>City Kids Homeschooling</strong> shares how parents can often make homeschooling work for their family even if, at first glance, it may seem daunting.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://livingmontessorinow.com/2012/02/14/if-you-cant-say-something-nice/" target="_blank">If You Can’t Say Something Nice…</a></strong> — Deb Chitwood at <strong>Living Montessori Now</strong> tells her philosophy for online and offline interactions … a philosophy based primarily on a children’s movie.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://wp.me/pMVLj-1aj" target="_blank">Different Rules for Different Families</a></strong> — Mandy at <strong>Living Peacefully with Children</strong> discusses how differences between families affect our children, and how that can be a good thing.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.diaryofafirstchild.com/2012/02/14/respectful-interaction-with-other-parents/" target="_blank">Respectful Interaction With Other Parents</a></strong> — Luschka at <strong>Diary of a First Child</strong> shares the ways she surrounds herself with a like-minded support network, so that she can gently advocate in her dealings with those whose opinions on parenting differ vastly from her own. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://katewicker.com/2012/02/parenting-as-a-mirror.html " target="_blank">Parenting as a mirror</a></strong> — Rather than discrediting others' parenting styles, <strong>Kate Wicker</strong> discusses why she tries to focus on doing right rather than being right — and why she’s also not afraid to show others that she’s a heartfelt but imperfect mama just trying to be the best mom for her family.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://africanbabiesdontcry.blogspot.com/2012/02/one-thing-most-parents-have-in-common.html" target="_blank">The One Thing {Most} Parents Have In Common: They Try Their Best</a></strong> — Christine at <strong>African Babies Don't Cry</strong> finds interacting with other parents easier once she accepts that they are all just trying their best, just like her. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://mudpiemama.brillweb.net/2012/02/5-ways-to-eliminate-judgebe-judged-metality" target="_blank">Finding your mama-groove: 5 ways to eliminate judge/be judged metality</a></strong> — <strong>MudpieMama</strong> reveals 5 ways of thinking that have helped her find her mama-groove and better navigate tricky parenting discussions. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.updownandnatural.com/2012/02/speaking-up-for-those-who-cant-.html" target="_blank">Speaking Up For Those Who Can't</a></strong> — We've all had those moments when someone said something hurtful or insensitive, or downright rude that just shocks you to your core, and you're stunned into silence. Afterwards, you go home and think "Gosh, I wish I said…" This post by Arpita at <strong>Up Down, And Natural</strong> is for all the breastfeeding mamas who have thought "Gosh, I wish I said…" </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.tmuffin.com/2012/02/thank-you-for-your-opinion.html" target="_blank">Thank you for your opinion</a></strong> — Gaby at <strong>Tmuffin</strong> shares her go-to comment when she feels like others are judging her parenting style.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://milliontinythings.blogspot.com/2012/02/mending.html" target="_blank">Mending</a></strong> — A playground conversation about jeans veers off course until a little mending by Kenna at <strong>Million Tiny Things</strong> is needed.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.becomingcrunchy.com/2012/02/the-thing-you-dont-know/" target="_blank">The Thing You Don't Know</a></strong> — Kelly at <strong>Becoming Crunchy</strong> talks about what she believes is one of the most important things you can consider when it comes to compassionate communication with other parents. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.ithoughtiknewmama.com/2012/02/respectful-interaction/" target="_blank">3 Tips for Interacting with Other Parents Respectfully When You Disagree with Them</a></strong> — Charise at <strong>I Thought I Knew Mama</strong> shares what she has learned about respectful interactions on her parenting journey.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://pandamoly.blogspot.com/2012/02/peacefully-keeping-my-cool-quotes-from.html" target="_blank">Peacefully Keeping My Cool: Quotes from Ana</a></strong> — How do you keep your cool? Ana from<strong> Pandamoly</strong> shares some of her favorite retorts and conversation starters when her Parenting Ethos comes into question.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://lovenotesmama.wordpress.com/2012/02/14/kind-matters/" target="_blank">Kind Matters</a></strong> — Carrie at <strong>Love Notes Mama</strong> discusses how she strives to be the type of person she'd want to meet.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://onelovelivity.com/childofnatureblog/ doing-it-my-way-but-respecting-your-highway/" target="_blank">Doing it my way but respecting your highway.</a></strong> — Terri from <strong>Child of the Nature Isle</strong> is determined to walk with her family on the road less travelled whether you like it or not!</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://toloveeverymoment.blogspot.com/2012/02/saying-im-right-and-youre-wrong-seldom.html" target="_blank">Saying "I'm Right and You're Wrong" Seldom Does Much To Improve Your Cause...</a></strong> — Kat at <strong>Loving {Almost} Every Moment</strong> writes about how living by example motivates her actions and interactions with others.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://theresapickleinmylife.blogspot.com/2012/02/have-another-kid-and-you-wont-care.html" target="_blank">Have another kid and you won't care</a></strong> — Cassie of <strong> There's a Pickle in My Life</strong>, after having her second child, knows exactly how to respond to opposing advice.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://codenamemama.com/2012/02/14/feb-2012-carnatpar/" target="_blank">Ten Tips to Communicate Respectfully, Even When You Disagree</a></strong> — What if disagreements with our partners, our children or even complete strangers ultimately led to more harmony and deeper connections? They can! Dionna at <strong>Code Name: Mama</strong> shares ten tips to strengthen our relationships in the midst of conflict.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://touchstonez.com/2012/02/14/a-little-light-conversation/" target="_blank">A Little Light Conversation</a></strong> — Zoie at <strong>TouchstoneZ</strong> explains why respect needs to be given to every parent unconditionally.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.puginthekitchen.com/?p=443" target="_blank">Why I used to hide the formula box</a></strong> — Laura at <strong>Pug in the Kitchen</strong> finally talks about how judgement between parents changed her views on how she handles differences in parenting.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://wp.me/p1sxMC-Ke" target="_blank">Assumptions</a></strong> — Nada at <strong>minimomist</strong> discusses how not everyone is able to nurse, physically, mentally, or emotionally. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://monkeybuttjunction.com/?p=1715" target="_blank">Shushing Your Inner Judgey McJudgerson</a></strong> — Jenn at <strong>Monkey Butt Junction</strong> knows that judging others is easy to do, but recognizing that we all parent from different perspectives takes work.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://boobietime.blogspot.com/2012/02/agree-to-disagree-online-and-remain.html" target="_blank">Respectfully Interacting with Others Online</a></strong> — Lani at <strong>Boobie Time Blog</strong> discusses the importance of remaining respectful behind the disguise of the internet. </li>
<li><strong><a href="http://crunchyconservativemommy.blogspot.com/2012/02/presumption-of-good-will.html" target="_blank">Presumption of Good Will</a></strong> — Why — and how — <strong>Crunchy Con Mommy</strong> is going to try to assume the best of people she disagrees with on important issues.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://wp.me/p5RtM-1NF" target="_blank">Being Gracious with Parenting Advice</a></strong> — Tips for giving and receiving parenting advice with grace from Lisa at <strong>My World Edenwild</strong>.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://www.anktangle.com/2012/02/explain-smile-escape.html" target="_blank">Explain, Smile, Escape</a></strong> — Don't know what to do when you're confronted by another parent who disagrees with you? Amy at <strong>Anktangle</strong> shares a story from her life along with a helpful method for navigating these types of tricky situations (complete with a handy flow chart!).</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://dulcefamily.blogspot.com/2012/02/tightrope-generations-cultures-and.html" target="_blank">Balancing Cultures and Choices</a></strong> — <strong>Dulce de leche</strong> discusses the challenges of walking the tightrope between generations while balancing cultural and family ties.</li>
<li><strong><a href="http://hannahandhorn.blogspot.com/2012/02/linky-parenting-peacefully-with-social_14.html" target="_blank">Linky - Parenting Peacefully with Social Media</a></strong> — <strong>Hannabert's Mom</strong> discusses parenting in a social media world.</li>
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<!-- END BOTTOM STRAIGHT-LIST CODE -->Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-70788346043762158592012-02-10T16:01:00.000-08:002012-02-10T16:01:39.703-08:00Sweet FailureLast week, it was time for a bit of housekeeping, or
hivekeeping. Our bees died a few weeks ago, and we needed to clean out the
hive, tidy up, and try to figure out if we can reuse it for next spring's
bees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The assumption was that I, a
novice beekeeper, underfed them, which means we assumed they ate all their
stored honey before they perished.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>This year’s bees, as my oldest likes to say, were a “big fail.”
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We dismantled the hive and pulled out the frames in a
hodgepodge manner, avoiding the angry lone ranger bee buzzing around us.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And then, in the midst of the
destruction, Mowgli found a frame with a section of capped honey!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We’d been sad about the bees, and the
fact of the remaining honey could be ominous in terms of what might have killed
the bees.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But for that day, we
just didn't care.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We had our own
honey!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And as luck would have it,
we had happened to stop at the bakery that morning for a fresh loaf of
five-seed bread. </div>
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So we picnicked, of course.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>We made some stuffed eggs, and took the eggs, bread, and
honey down to the small patch of winter sun at the back of the garden.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And we ate honey until three out of
four of us were unable to take another bite. (One of us never notices when he
is full and had to be cut off by the holder of the jar.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The eggs were from our own chickens,
but eating the honey from our own bees, even bees that we failed to keep alive
through the winter—that was something new for us, and the sweetness on our
tongues was so alive with our knowledge that it was the plants around us, these
exact plants, and the ones we grew in our gardens right here last summer, that
provided the nectar which the bees made into this honey.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>It was that kind of garden magic which
just cannot be put into words.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But
you can put it right in your mouth!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And we did, and it was good.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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<br /></div>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-17378544218933360622012-02-04T13:47:00.001-08:002012-02-10T15:58:59.481-08:00Celebrating Groundhog Day at the Green Phone BoothGuest poster at the <a href="http://www.greenphonebooth.com/2012/02/shadows-and-light.html" target="_blank">Green Phone Booth</a> this week: me! (http://www.greenphonebooth.com/2012/02/shadows-and-light.html)Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-49342395400141847512012-01-27T14:04:00.000-08:002012-01-27T14:04:00.089-08:00Never back down. But maybe retreat?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">The FSC-certified hand-built bathhouse out in the woods is
almost complete, which means that my eco-studio can almost (always few tiny
details undone) be rented out as a writing retreat. No phone, no internet, nothing but peace and quiet and a
radiant-heat floor under the redwoods.
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I’ve thought about offering it as an activist retreat as
well, maybe for cheap or free to earth activists who need some time to
rejuvenate. But seriously, have
you ever heard of an activist going offline for a few days? Could Bill McKibben survive without his
internet line to the rest of us footsoldiers of the environment, waiting to
hear our next marching orders? (Bill, you are welcome any time.)</div>
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Hm, I wonder.
So if anyone knows a full-time environmental activist who could use a
break, send them my way. Occupy
the woods.</div>
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</span>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-42150888435737726482012-01-21T13:46:00.000-08:002012-01-21T13:53:16.031-08:00Stopping. Okay, not stopping, but...<div style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS",sans-serif;">
...can we at least sit down for a moment to enjoy a cup of tea? Please? </div>
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This was a big week. After all the arrests and teach-ins and protests, Obama said a big, fat, loud "NO" to the climate-killing Keystone XL pipeline. Wahoo! Hurrah! And all that.<br />
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I mean, I'm as thrilled as anyone. Or perhaps, "relieved" is better than "thrilled." Relieved for just one moment that there is an ounce of sanity in the government, even if you have to dig hard to find it. But I'm not relieved like, oh, great, that's over so I can move on to other stuff. I mean, I'm perfectly aware that Big Oil will keep trying to strip-mine our political process in pursuit of profit.</div>
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Still, the "We won, but..." emails are making me a little crazy. So I'm going to drink in the "we won" for now, and save the "but" for next week, after I've celebrated a bit. After all, my kids have been going through this protest movement with me, and I think I want them to believe for just a few days that the good guys <i>can</i> win, at least for a while.</div>
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So, an hour at the <a href="http://www.infusionsteashop.com/" target="_blank">teahouse</a> for me, popcorn for them. Wahoo, hurrah, and all that. For real. (For now.)</div>
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<br />Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-23916362790718231242011-12-26T12:17:00.000-08:002012-01-21T12:17:32.687-08:00a million tiny “no”s<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">On Christmas Eve, my malaise took me for a walk around town,
searching for a way to fill the empty space left by the fact, incontrovertible,
that my children are not at home with me baking cookies for Santa. They were with my X and her new
partner, doing whatever they do which I’d rather not think about since it
doesn’t include me. Being a middle
class American, my hard-wired instinct was to fill this hole in my heart by
buying more gifts for those same missing, missed kids. </span>
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Lucky for me, I had two bits of perspective.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>One: there wasn’t much money in my bank
account, a common occurrence since the divorce.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Two: Facebook.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>My daily checking thereof NOT usually something I like to admit to, but
when it’s Christmas Eve and your little kids are making their Santa snacks at a
home in which you are not welcome, Facebook really doesn’t feel like so much of
a time-waster.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>More like a
life-saving time-filler.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>You never
know how long one day can be until you are missing your kids at Christmas time.</div>
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A friend had posted on Facebook that morning: “suffering
pre-Christmas oscillation between anxiety about overconsumption and the desire
to delight and thrill my kids. I haven't gotten my kids enough gifts! I've
gotten my kids too many gifts! Aaagh!”</div>
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And remembering that post saved me.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I let my feet wander through the toy
store, linger by the games shelf, and move on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>(Oh, they would love this!<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>But they have enough, more than enough, too much
really.)<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>When your kids have two
houses, you have to be very conscious not to compete for best Christmas, and by
proxy, best parent.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Out here in
the shopping frenzy of Christmas Eve, everyone was jolly, laughing, hurrying.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I had all the time in the world, not
expecting my kids back until noon on the 25th, but I pretended to smile
back.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>My hands, seemingly
disconnected from my shut-down self, browsed the bookstore shelves, allowing a
few small items to pile up on a bench, but only if they seem likely to advance
the progress of our slowish readers: Mad Libs for the one learning parts of
speech, Hangman for the one working on simple spelling.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The honey store extracted a few more
dollars as they are a local business devoted to the continued health of the
honeybee population, and a few pieces of their honey taffy would fill the kids’
expectation that Santa always puts candy in stockings without adding to the
corn syrup and chocolate intake that surely would have begun near dawn at their
other house.</div>
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To walk through town on December 24 with a hole in your soul
and emerge without an enormous sack full of crap requires an inexhaustible
source of internal “no”s.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No
plastic.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No made-in-far-away
non-durable goods.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No
non-FSC-certified paper.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No Farm
Bill-subsidized corn syrup.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No
clamshell cases.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No, no, no. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>No pretending that “retail therapy” is
anything other than just digging yourself in further, into debt, into
depression, into denial that you are part of the problem.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unless.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Unless, your profligate spending of “no”s adds up to you
heading home to discover that the stockings are, in fact, just the right amount
full, and the honey is sweet in a cup of tea, and your attempts to be part of
the solution, however small, have made the waiting tolerable.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Because the only thing that can fill
the hole, the big “yes,” will arrive.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>And they will not miss for even one second any of the things you said “no”
to.</div>
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</span>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-29102698656989187962011-12-21T17:01:00.000-08:002011-12-21T17:01:49.528-08:00Open house<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
“The door’s always open,” I like to say.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I like to have that kind of life,
people coming and going, feeling welcome, dropping by.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Staying for a while.
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But I never meant for my open door policy to be literal.</div>
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“DOOR!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I yell,
over and over, a howling refrain.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>“DOOR!” as my sons run down the driveway.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“DOOR!” as my daughter heads into the bathroom.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span></div>
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“I’d very much like to hear what you are saying,” I intone
calmly,<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“but I can’t pay attention
because the <i>door</i><span style="font-style: normal;"> is open and all our
heat is pouring out into the driveway.”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I am proud of the control in my voice since I just read a book detailing
how horrific the practice of natural gas extraction by fracking is, and our
furnace is fired by, you guessed it, natural gas.</span></div>
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“Sorry, Mom.”</div>
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And when I’m really tired of the constant, repetitive “DOOR”
call, I lose it a bit:<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>“You guys
are going to lose your privilege to go outside ever again!”<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>As if.</div>
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After weeks of trying, failing, and failing again to get my
kids to close the door without a reminder each and every time, the kids’ annual
cookie party this week came as a relief.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>A million kids running in and out requires full-on surrender to a
wide-open door, and the continuous baking means the house is plenty warm
without having the heat on.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Open
house, indeed.</div>
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Best of all, the whole house is full of laughter and sugar
and mouths stuffed with pilfered M&Ms.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>And I notice that on each of the gingerbread houses
the kids make, the door is propped wide open, letting in the love, even if the
heat is escaping.</div>
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</span>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-63150876320391535382011-12-17T08:26:00.000-08:002011-12-17T08:26:47.884-08:00Whoa, Nellie!<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
The holidays are rushing forward on a constantly
accelerating intake of sugar. My
feeble attempt to counter the trend by baking cheese straws from a
healthy-food-for-kids cookbook was derailed by the fact that the cheese straws,
though whole grain and healthy, aren’t in the least cheesy, despite my having
added more cheese than the recipe called for. So the kids continue to chip away at the shingles of their
organic gingerbread houses decked with non-organic, artificially dyed
M&Ms. And start each day with
a dose of chocolate from the chocolate advent calendars (surreptitious
grandparental attempt to convey the idea of advent to my non-churchgoing
brood).
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Yikes. Just
days away from our annual cookie party, I’m trying to figure out how to prevent
a complete crash-and-burn scenario.
Spurred on my the success of my “No”vember campaign, I look to the month
for inspiration, but all I’m seeing in the “Dec” of December is “decathalon.” I gotta slow down. Take a breath. </div>
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And when I do that, I see it. The “duh” of the D month. December.
Decelerate. </div>
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So today, maybe the kids will keep sneaking sugar, but I can
drive slower. Literally. Just get everywhere a little
later. And while I’m at it, save
gas. Do a little thing for the earth and for our family at the same time. Feel more relaxed. Happy, slower, holidays. </div>
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(And if you live around here, see you
at the cookie party!)</div>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-63013332162065819602011-12-06T13:14:00.001-08:002011-12-06T13:26:03.709-08:00Winter spirals: a million tiny lights<div style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">
After the excitement of a house-full-of-life Thanksgiving,
my winter spiraling starts. The
reality of the long, cold nights, even longer when you work them, and the
mounting dread of a prolonged, not-by-choice, no-kid period before Christmas
(oh, the vagaries of the family court judges) conspire to send me sliding down,
around, and down further. The
empty house during my non-custody days, as I sit holed up in the only bedroom
that I heat when we are not all home, echoes with nothing. And in that dark, shivering spot, it
begins again: the easy tears, the sense of defeat, the ache in the chest, the
feeling that I just can’t do this divorced lifestyle, really can’t, the harsh
judgment of myself for not being grateful enough for what I have.
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The feeling of relief when, driving, I see a warning sign
for high winds on the bridge ahead, and I realize that my car is small and
light and might just get blown off, twisting down into unending darkness of
water below. The tears again, when
I’m not expecting them. The loss
of hope that we can do anything to save this planet for our kids. The sense of warm comfort that comes
with contemplating not being alive, letting the world just spin and heat up
without me on it. This is my
winter spiral, and I so don’t want to have to get back on those white pills
that I spent six months getting off of this year. Damn it.</div>
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I cross the bridge without incident, and get home
safely. For now. And I go through the motions of
adulthood: work, the hardware store, the post office, the grocery store, the
bank, trudging through the to-do list.
Next up: evening holiday school event, and the start of my kid-custody
half of the week. I make sure
supper is ready and warm for when we get home, and head over to the
school. </div>
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The room is dark and quiet as I take my seat, alone. My ex has delivered my daughter to her
teacher and the boys will arrive later with the sitter for their own turns
(hard for boys to stay quiet for too long). More parents filter in through the opaque doorway, babies
squawk to lighten the somber mood, siblings whisper in their seats as we wait
in darkness for the kindergarteners.
My ex ducks in, takes a seat a few rows back. I relax in my chair and breathe gratitude that her new
partner isn’t here too.</div>
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The teacher leads them in, singing. Such sweet voices, timid in the
darkness. They take their places
on a bench facing the center of the room, where a team of parents has created a
spiral pathway out of greenery and logs cut so they stand on end at various
heights within easy reach of a kindergartener. The teacher tells a story of children and friendship and the
power of love, and then the pianist starts to play, and my healing begins.</div>
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One by one, the children are given an apple with a beeswax
taper in it, and each walks the spiral to the center where she lights her
candle from the large pillar in the center. As she walks back outward, she chooses a stump on which to
place her apple with its light.
Over and over we sing a child to the center and then back out. The pathway emerges from shadow into
soft light. </div>
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In the candleglow, I have lost sight of the self who could
not find her heart, her will to live.
I feel only gratitude that despite the logistical complications of
children and sitter and maintaining a reverent mood, I will now sit through two
more consecutive spirals to watch my sons’ classes, as I have for the past five
years. In order to reach the
light, you have to walk through the darkness. How fortunate are my children that year after year, as they
grow taller and taller, they enact this ritual. How I hope they remember this somewhere deep inside, so when
they face their own black winter spiral, they recall that there is a light
somewhere.</div>
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Preparing for the second spiral, I am sitting in the dark
with my arm across the shoulders of my little boy, suddenly a pre-teen
granddaddy longlegs, skinny limbs bending every which way out of his folding
chair. We watch his brother’s
class walk the spiral one by one, and when they are done, the room full of
small lights, he whispers to me: “It’s hardly dark anymore.” </div>
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I send the two younger ones home with the sitter and return
to the dark room alone to watch my spidery son and his long-legged classmates
light their own candles. And he is
right. My shadow-lurking heart is
watching, and letting the light in, and it is hardly dark anymore.</div>
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<br /></div>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-17619456293169441412011-12-01T13:21:00.001-08:002011-12-01T13:25:50.029-08:00Farewell, lovely NOvember. Come again soon.<div style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Don’t ask me how I was so lucky as to be the one to receive
this divine revelation, but there I was, racing down the road of my
overly-scheduled, hectic life, when I suddenly saw this mental billboard:
November starts with N.O. Like
most great discoveries (electricity comes to mind), it’s been there all along. No. Nooooo-vember.
A whole month of “no,” just waiting for someone to come along and grab
it. And guess what? That same month comes around <i>every
year</i></span><span style="font-size: small; font-style: normal;">.
Just when you need it most.</span>
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<span style="font-size: small;">This year we needed it more than ever, as this is the year
that I finally embraced my inner environmental activist and started running
around getting arrested at the White House and hanging up big signs at
community events, doing teach-ins, and generally spending too much time posting
updates on the Keystone XL pipeline for all my Facebook friends. Not to mention my usual school garden
volunteering, which included the rash promise to post recipes every week on a
school garden blog. Oh, and also
not to mention my full-time job as a night nurse. And did I say I’m a single mom? Each week this fall, I would lie down on my chiropractor’s
table, finally exhale, and say the same thing: “I never stop.” </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">So in late October, I declared that November would be a
whole month of N.O. Long
exhale. A whole month of
freedom. No activist events, no
craft fairs, no social events that we don’t all absolutely positively want to
go to. No going to the farmer’s
market where I always spend too much money, no going out to eat. No throwing parties. No calling the White House or my
senator, no keeping petitions to sign in my inbox, no responding in any way to
mass emails. And no guilt. I’ve been busy, and I’m taking a month
off, and all these no’s mean I have some big yeses for my kids. Not very visible ones, but we all feel
them: yes, I can help you with those moccasins you started back in August, yes,
we can make chow-chow and can it, yes, we can sit on the couch and read, yes,
we can build a door for the hole you cut in the wall. Yes, we can stay in our pajamas all day.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">No looking through catalogs for good deals or gift ideas—straight
to recycling, along with every single one of the direct-mail pleas for
end-of-year donations. I usually
keep those, stack and sort them according to priority, and try to send what
money I can. But if I think about
it, I know which charities I want to donate to, and I know how to donate
online, and I don’t need the clutter or the attendant guilt that I haven’t sent
the donation in yet.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">The most radical “no” has been this: no grocery
shopping. This was not part of my
original plan, but honestly, all the running around in the past few months had
my bank account in scary territory.
How to recover in time to buy an organic turkey for the holidays: stop
shopping! We get a veggie box from
our CSA farm each week, and
honestly, often I end up letting a few items get old and rot. The CSA box comes with milk, half &
half, and butter, and I can pick up a loaf of bread at the farm when I pick up
my box. Funny thing I noticed:
when I’m not supplementing with other groceries, nothing gets old and
rots. Hmmmm.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">During all the other months, when any given foodstuff runs
out, I replace it. This means that
behind the front layer of dry and canned goods in my pantry there is a
collection of dusty, seldom-seen items.
These got taken out and dusted off right after Halloween this year,
thanks to a food drive at the kids’ school. Unnoticed by me, most of our canned goods had collected
small rust spots, past-due expiration dates, or some sticky coating resulting
from a leaking, improperly preserved jar of marinated figs. Which obviously rendered them unfit for
donation to the food drive. And
once I’d noticed, I couldn’t really put them back into the pantry. Stacking a bunch of aging cans of
kidney beans, hearts of palm, and coconut milk on my counter turned out to be a
powerful motivator to get out of my cooking rut, get creative,<i> </i></span><span style="font-size: small; font-style: normal;">and</span><span style="font-size: small;"><i> get rid of the cans</i></span><span style="font-size: small; font-style: normal;">. So for
a month, we have survived on fresh vegetables and random canned food. Surprisingly, the kids have enjoyed the
more creative meals, even if there have been occasional complaints about the
dearth of quesadilla ingredients in the fridge. Plus, as a total surprising bonus, none of us got botulism
(whew!).</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">As for the “no activities,” it’s not that we didn’t do
anything all month, it’s just that any offers that came along had to be
compelling enough to override the automatic “no.” So, although we skipped many, many cool and interesting
local events this month, I did go to see my friend’s lamps at a pre-holiday
craft fair, and even bought one.
But I didn’t <i>have</i></span><span style="font-size: small; font-style: normal;"> to go. The lamp is funky and captivating,
hanging in a previously too-dark corner of my living room, its light shining
out through multiple layered images of an apple with one bite taken out of it. For the artist, the apples refer to our
local apple producers and the “eat local” imperative (which is also emblazoned
across the lamp), but to me, it’s more a symbol of how often we succumb to the
temptation to take one more, and one more, and one more bite, until we have
more than we can chew.
Furthermore, the lamp has a switch, as a reminder that anytime I want, I
can turn it all off. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;">Now that NO-vember is over, I am looking forward to
adopting the same practice every year.
Without any further effort than the implementation of “no,” we are all rested,
our house has less dust bunnies than it has since my youngest was born, we have
multiple craft projects racing toward completion, my pantry is clean and spare
in readiness for the holidays. And
to me, the space created by saying “no” echos with a resounding “yes.” Yes to NO-vember. Now that seems like a tradition worth
keeping. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span></div>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-20993227711586106882011-11-01T11:52:00.000-07:002011-11-27T11:53:02.703-08:00November starts with N.O.<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">That includes blog posts (except for those pesky </span><a href="http://schoolgardenyear.blogspot.com/" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" target="_blank">garden recipes</a><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">, and only because I promised the kids).</span>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-26941861193409906752011-10-25T23:36:00.000-07:002012-01-21T13:18:19.719-08:00Suburban moms loose in the big city<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Verdana,sans-serif; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgscmuG7WvHEgv5iFKZrNiMxKO-fBnxh8zMSVaDs-jMUzT5WrSW-UG79Ga1Xp2_2-1ci9Q8h-Ja6BBFAe2sSOMabtpG9u1svDWBVCwZDq99MPXQQUYtFJSWn525eQEY_Oe4HQjZRF2fW6_u/s1600/anothermutha.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgscmuG7WvHEgv5iFKZrNiMxKO-fBnxh8zMSVaDs-jMUzT5WrSW-UG79Ga1Xp2_2-1ci9Q8h-Ja6BBFAe2sSOMabtpG9u1svDWBVCwZDq99MPXQQUYtFJSWn525eQEY_Oe4HQjZRF2fW6_u/s320/anothermutha.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Gratification: Two babes who didn't know what the Tar Sands protest was all about until my teach-in not only show up at the protest outside Obama's SF fundraiser, they also <a href="http://www.facebook.com/l/LAQHFxU29AQHMch9brIxEQWOvZVHhx2IQHY0d0y9rEeslLA/www.ktvu.com/video/29586578/index.html" target="_blank">get on TV!</a>!! Because we were being good mamas and left the protest a little early to go pick our kids up from school, we stumbled across the speeding motorcade routing the Predident away from the mass of protesters and got to wave our signs as the long Presidential hand waved at us. (And yes, that sign on the right does read "Another Motha' against the pipeline.")Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-90184878133420461502011-10-22T11:47:00.000-07:002011-11-27T11:50:57.740-08:00Out of my comfort zone<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">Nice how really believing in something will make you stretch outside your usual orbit. As if the handcuffs weren't painful enough, I have delved fully into google docs presentations to give a teach-in for people in my community tomorrow. So, from a former and future Luddite, here's my </span><a href="https://docs.google.com/presentation/d/1m_mIGkROLC7ek0hx2I2FX92uywaZB2nYV8zkZtL3aKU/edit" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" target="_blank">slideshow</a><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> if you want to see it. It's got some cool videos. (Yes, I really did imbed videos. They might even let me into the 21st century soon.)</span>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-23570096204477009902011-10-01T11:11:00.000-07:002011-11-27T11:13:11.653-08:00Empty Jars<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
Cascades of over-ripe, late-season blackberries scold me
with their fermented sugars, leaving sticky liquor all over my hands: “What,
did you think we would wait for you?”
The chickens trail along behind me, getting drunk off my discards.</div>
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“When summer’s over, it’s gone,” the berries whine, like my
children bemoaning the spate of babysitters who bide the time reading book
after book, but who don’t get the harvest in. While I’m off protesting, sending out press releases, doing
interviews, the kids and ripe fruit miss me. On the counter sits a new box full of empty jelly jars,
pristine in their unmet potential.</div>
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Every choice has its converse: if I’m doing the activist
stuff, which feels like the big work of mothering, there’s a lot of other
mothering work that I miss out on.
Like cooking dinner, tucking people in, and canning the jam. This year, I missed the first day of
school, and I missed the blackberries.
Hopefully those are the biggest things, and I didn’t miss any
unrecoverable moments of ripeness in my children.</div>
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My son, declaring some mix of independent thought and
resentment, insists he doesn’t care if they build the planet-killing
pipeline. Sigh. Mom’s on the front page in her
handcuffs. I’m so not gonna care
about that stuff. I just want her
home. I just want jam.</div>
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For now, I’ll let him have the final word on this thorny
issue. </div>
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</span>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-22443886725926853002011-09-25T11:15:00.000-07:002011-11-27T11:23:34.246-08:00Moving planet!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt3DzIPEfYUlHSl6R8AjziGIjkJqKiRTIEVcLjA0k6BbPXnPOc47Pt0ZEqnOvSRqudEOT7j0tyu5GDWbiTmfsznJDYLdAzk2v142Ovom7UpLe2hPDtpSIEzG0gzxweSHjSUdyN6Ps7gGWM/s1600/sept24hoedown.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgt3DzIPEfYUlHSl6R8AjziGIjkJqKiRTIEVcLjA0k6BbPXnPOc47Pt0ZEqnOvSRqudEOT7j0tyu5GDWbiTmfsznJDYLdAzk2v142Ovom7UpLe2hPDtpSIEzG0gzxweSHjSUdyN6Ps7gGWM/s320/sept24hoedown.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">350.org's </span><a href="http://www.moving-planet.org/" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;" target="_blank">worldwide day of moving beyond fossil fuels</a><span style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;"> in action at the Laguna Farm Hoedown!</span><br />
<br />Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8725316554449173592.post-26942899689853567102011-09-13T11:03:00.000-07:002011-11-27T11:57:15.759-08:00A van full of optimists<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Verdana,sans-serif;">
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</style>There is something deeply disturbing about the decision to
take part in civil disobedience, even when the action itself is well-organized
and decidedly non-violent. To
intentionally break the law in protest is to declare openly the opinion the
government has broken its contract with its citizens. And once you have admitted to yourself that as huge and
unwieldy a system as our federal government is broken, it is hard to have faith
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I had imagined that once I got to Washington, the
non-violence training session would be energizing. Instead, I felt teary the whole time. I had thought that sitting with a
hundred other people in front of the White House would make me feel proud;
instead, I felt sad. Once I was handcuffed,
though, and placed in a police van with 11 other women, once the van was
bouncing us around so that we had to grab onto the seat belts that lay
unfastened behind us on the benches, once our wrists were all hurting from the
plastic cuffs, once we all got uncomfortably hot and sweaty and discovered that
if you sweat enough, your handcuffs can slide around and you get a little
relief from the pressure. <br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0CMknSrBQ59f0ry-y_1Ci0LqXSE5RZkkQhyZTA3qFp74aq4bRXiBk79tnRZWc4zq2ic5_mQmXFCQ4nFqenRFhTyCTDw423wH0e-f6PhAPY69cM9Nv1P6Jo5SHXjQGvsdly9_sFHHKlCPd/s1600/van+full.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg0CMknSrBQ59f0ry-y_1Ci0LqXSE5RZkkQhyZTA3qFp74aq4bRXiBk79tnRZWc4zq2ic5_mQmXFCQ4nFqenRFhTyCTDw423wH0e-f6PhAPY69cM9Nv1P6Jo5SHXjQGvsdly9_sFHHKlCPd/s320/van+full.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
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Once we had all started talking about our doubts about
whether what we were doing could really make any difference at all, and once we
were laughing about how the sweet young policeman guarding us while the van was
parked at the police station, seeing how sweaty we were, said sheepishly, “I
would have left the van running so you could get a little air conditioning from
the front, but I didn’t think you people would want that.” Once all those things had happened, I
realized that despite my undercurrent of grief, I was right where I should be. Squeezed into a whole van full of
people so optimistic that we, in one unanimous chorus, answered that young
policeman: “And you were right!” </div>Kenna Leehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02059031200420360729noreply@blogger.com0