Much as my lesbian feminist self would like to deny it, that
song still hums somewhere deep in my subconscious image of How Life Should Be:
I’m supposed to be able to do it all.
And as a single mother, I often do
“Do It All;” at least, I do everything that gets done. I work full time, I pay the bills, I
cook the meals, I check the web to ensure that the products I buy are actually
healthy for kids, and in my spare time, I try to teach my children all the
things they might need to know to survive in a post-carbon economy and live a
sustainable lifestyle. Whew.
Plus, I bring home the bacon. Totally righteous pasture-raised bacon, right there in the
deep freeze alongside the rest of the pig. But in trying to keep up with the cultural sprint toward
sustainability, I’ve slowed down our consumption of aforementioned frozen pig
in favor of mostly plant-based meals.
Bok choy in place of bacon.
Totally righteous, local, organic plants, grown by totally righteous
local farmers. Sustainability, ho!
Each week I head to our local farm to pick up our box of
veggies, and I used to bring it all home and scour my cookbooks for ways to
cook the less popular options. By
March, we are all feeling particularly oppressed by the surplus of greens, more
greens, plus some bok choy. It’s
so warm out, where are the strawberries?
Really, not for another month
yet?
(My kids are finally getting old enough to really understand
that the presence of fruit outside the grocery store does not necessarily
correlate to the fruit actually being in season. But they still look longingly at the shipped-in
strawberries.)
I used to dutifully transfer the contents of my veggie box
into my bags. But the more I get
used to the single-mothering gig, the more honest I have to be with myself
about what “sustainable” really means at my house. Greens and bok choy that rot in the fridge and then get fed
to the chickens, no matter how righteously grown, are not really
sustainable. And they make me feel
guilty for not being that mom whose kids just love those hearty greens.
I’ve spent many many hours pulverizing greens into specks
too small to scrape off your pasta, or experimenting with seasonings (including
bacon, of course), making kale “chips” and other “kid-friendly” suggestions
(oh, please, no more suggestions, I swear I’ve tried). The real truth is, only my oldest child
and I will eat more than a bite or two of greens that aren’t spinach.
This spring, I’m getting real with my sustainability, and
really looking at what makes a sustainable life rather than just trying to Do
It All, so as a first step, I leave the bok choy at the farm for someone else
to bring home. I bring home only
as many greens as my ten-year-old and I will eat in a week’s time, and I do as
much as I can. Which is enough.
